These days, children have easy access to home computers, tablet computers, and smartphones, and many spend a large part of their free time using these devices. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

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this

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technology era, children are tech-savvy. They can spend hours using intelligent technologies

such

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as computers, tablets, and smartphones. Using these devices can help them learn valuable information, but it is

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detrimental to their well-being and concentration. In

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essay, I will examine

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matter's advantages and disadvantages before drawing my conclusion. On the one hand, children can learn helpful information from smart devices. It is because they have access to the internet with abundant knowledge.

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data is

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faster and more updated than the ones in the books.

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, they can choose the content they prefer.

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, a child can learn a foreign language or a skill by watching video tutorials.

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, spending too much time on intelligent screens harms children’s health. For physical health, it may affect their eyes or bodies. Some diseases, including myopia, amblyopia, and back pain, have been becoming more common among the youth generation. It

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harms mental health,

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as creating disorder and stress. Another drawback is the loosing of concentration of a child. Social media are designed to create distraction.

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, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube tend to attract viewers through short videos with no helpful content.

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, viewing too many videos like these may influence the concentrative ability. In conclusion,

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using technology can support children in updating their knowledge, it may harm their well-being and concentration. I believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. In my opinion, parents should guide their kids to use smart devices in a suitable way.

huyenle1205Tue Dec 05 2023

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response. To improve task achievement, ensure that the prompt is fully addressed with a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, followed by your own opinion. You should also work on providing more detailed examples that directly relate to your main points.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure to use a range of cohesive devices and organise your ideas and examples more effectively to ensure a smooth flow of information.

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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Since the beginning of the 20th century, the number of endangered species has increased significantly and we have witnessed more mass extinctions in this period than in any other period of time. What problems arise from this and how can they be tackled?