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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the results of a survey in which undergraduates and postgraduates were asked about the range of books and non-printed materials in their school library. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the results of a survey in which undergraduates and postgraduates were asked about the range of books and non-printed materials in their school library. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #results #survey #undergraduates #postgraduates #range #books #materials #school #library #information #features #comparisons
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The given pies graph
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the information about
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
 of a survey in which undergraduates and postgraduates were asked about the range of books and non-printed materials in their school
library
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the graph quality of the non-printed in university
student’s
Fix the agreement mistake
students’librariesis
show examples
library
Use synonyms
 almost very good.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
postgraduate’s
Change noun form
postgraduate
show examples
Use synonyms
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 are not good. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
range
Correct article usage
the range
show examples
 of books,
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
postgraduate
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 worse than undergraduate. On the one hand, the proportion of books in
Correct article usage
the undergraduate’s
show examples
undergraduate’s
Change noun form
undergraduate
show examples
library
Use synonyms
 was commented
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 about quality, 37% for very good, 35% for satisfaction,
28
Correct word choice
and 28
show examples
% for not good.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in
postgraduate’s
Correct article usage
the postgraduate’s
show examples
 opinion
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
50% is not good, figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 satisfaction had more than that of very good, exactly 28% and 22% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, undergraduate was very
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 online materials,
just
Correct word choice
and just
show examples
 12%
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 dissatisfied.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 postgraduate students felt not good about online
document
Fix the agreement mistake
documents
show examples
 about 62% and only 34%
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 good.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 87%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.
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