Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, more and more
children
are using Use synonyms
smartphones
and spend hours every day on the internet. Some Use synonyms
people
think it is a positive Use synonyms
development
, but in my opinion, I think it is a negative Use synonyms
development
.
There are several reasons Use synonyms
people
think Use synonyms
children
spending a lot of time on Use synonyms
smartphones
is a positive Use synonyms
development
. The first Use synonyms
reason
is that Use synonyms
people
think Use synonyms
children
can absorb knowledge and know the news recently. Use synonyms
Children
can absorb the knowledge by searching online or learning the news by watching videos. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
children
can search the information through Google or ChatGPT these kinds of websites, or watch short video apps like TikTok to learn the news immediately. The second Use synonyms
reason
is that Use synonyms
children
can contact their parents or friends through Use synonyms
smartphones
. It is convenient for them because they can contact each other without meeting others.
Use synonyms
However
, I believe that Linking Words
children
spending hours every day on their Use synonyms
smartphones
is a negative Use synonyms
development
. One Use synonyms
reason
is that it will decrease the time Use synonyms
children
go outside to absorb fresh air. Use synonyms
Children
would not go outside because they are addicted to Use synonyms
smartphones
which causes them not to want to go outside. The second Use synonyms
reason
is that it will influence Use synonyms
children
's eye vision. If Use synonyms
children
spend too much time on their Use synonyms
smartphones
or too close Use synonyms
while
using Linking Words
smartphones
it will make their eye vision poor.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
some Linking Words
people
think Use synonyms
children
spending hours every day on their Use synonyms
smartphones
is a positive Use synonyms
development
, I still think it is a negative Use synonyms
development
.Use synonyms
Submitted by vickychen941008 on
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Task Achievement
Expand on your arguments with further explanation or analysis. While you introduced relevant examples, deeper analysis would enhance your essay's persuasiveness and depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider a more varied sentence structure and use of linking words to improve the flow and coherence of your essay. While the logical structure is present, more sophisticated transitions could enhance cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although your introduction and conclusion are both present, you could make them stronger. In the introduction, clearly state your thesis and outline the points you will discuss. In the conclusion, summarize the main points without introducing new information, and restate your opinion more forcefully.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.