IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, other think this leads environmental problem, so air travel should be more expensive in order to discourage people from having it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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One of the heated debates is whether the cost of
air
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travel
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 should be expensive or more affordable for the general population.
This
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 issue divides opinions between those who support affordable
travel
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 for wider accessibility and those who prioritize its environmental impact. The following essay will discuss both points of view and give my own perspective.
Firstly
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, when
people
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 have the opportunity to visit other places, it enhances their chances of gaining new experiences.
However
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, not everyone can achieve
this
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 because
limited
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of limited
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 funds, especially for transportation.
Therefore
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, reducing
air
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travel
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 fees can help
people
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 from all walks of life by easing the financial burden.
For example
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, artists who want to visit London to see an exhibition might
previously
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have previously
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, but with cheaper accommodation and
travel
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, they can afford it.
As a result
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, they can meet their role model and gain inspiration for future artwork.
Secondly
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, some
people
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 believe the authorities should increase
air
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travel
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 costs
due to
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 its environmental effect.
Tourist
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Tourists
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 can contribute to climate change because
traveling
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travelling
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further
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involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
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 transportation, especially planes. A survey shows that tourism is responsible for 8% of the world’s carbon emissions, and almost half of those emissions come from aviation.
That is
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 why making
air
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 tickets more expensive would influence
people
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think
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to think
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 twice before going overseas frequently, which could
consequently
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 reduce the rise of carbon emissions. In conclusion,
while
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 the benefit of affordable flight costs allows ordinary
people
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 to
travel
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further
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, it can have negative impacts on the environment, leading some to advocate for increased costs. In my opinion, flight tickets could be lower during specific times, so the negative impact
people
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 fear could be reduced.

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task achievement
Provide specific examples or statistics to support the idea that reducing air travel costs allows people to gain more experiences.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses one main point and fully develops it before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Clarify the environmental impacts by using more precise and specific language to strengthen this part of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay effectively introduces both sides of the argument and provides a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion clearly summarizes the main points and presents a personal opinion.
task achievement
The essay includes specific data about tourism's contribution to carbon emissions, making the environmental argument more credible.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Democratic travel
  • Global diversity
  • Economic benefits
  • Service sector
  • Educational travel
  • International relationships
  • Carbon emissions
  • Global warming
  • Climate crisis
  • Overtourism
  • Infrastructure
  • Cultural heritage
  • Sustainable aviation
  • Carbon offset
  • Global inequality
  • Airline industry
  • Economic downturn
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