Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises.
It is
one
of the most discussed and debated topics: how regular exercise and sports
activities
can impact one
's life.It is an undeniable fact, across
all age groups, exercise or self nourishing can be used as a yardstick to measure an individual's physical and mental health.I am of the opinion that there are more advantages than disadvantages, which I would like to explain in the following paragraphs.
It is quite obvious thatCorrect word choice
that across
,
there are both mentally and physically considerable benefits to engaging in playing or taking part in Remove the comma
apply
sports
games. Firstly
, a good routine, which includes regular exercises,diet,proper sleep,yoga, meditation, etc., reflects a person's overall
wellbeing
and can increase Correct your spelling
well-being
one
's cognitive capabilities.In today's era,individuals tend to suffer from severe diseases like heart attacks, strokes, depression, etc., due to
their sedentary lifestyle. Nowadays, in schools, universities, and institutes, it is mandatory for children and young adults to take part in extracurricular activities
that help them build their mental and physical stamina.For example
, in
Change preposition
apply
MNC's
like EY and KPMG,Change noun form
MNCs
they
encourage their employees to participate in events like marathons and trekking, which helps them to build their core strengths.Correct pronoun usage
apply
However
, it is evident that excess of anything is bad, which means exercise should be done in a meticulous manner and in the right proportion.
On the other hand
, physical activities
carry adversities like health issues and injuries.The main problem is that while
playing sports
like hockey, cricket,etc., without proper preparation for the activities
, one
might end up injuring oneself.Moreover
, gymnastics or learning a sport is quite unaffordable for the middle class. For instance
, in developing countries, sports
like tennis are expensive and considered an upper-class game.
In conclusion, the merits of taking up sports
, or physical exercises outweigh the drawbacks, as they exert positive influences on the mental and physical health of the player. Thus
, everyone should take risks into consideration to reap the benefits of such
activites
.Correct your spelling
activities
Submitted by crpnivedya.prasannan on
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Task Achievement
For a higher score in Task Achievement, make sure to provide more specific examples that strongly support your arguments. While you've used examples of the corporate sector encouraging physical activity, incorporating diverse examples from different walks of life or studies can further strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and connectors more to enhance the flow between ideas. Although your essay is well-structured, greater variety in sentence forms and linking words could boost readability and coherence.