Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore, workine hours should be reduced To what extent do vou agree or disagree

The evergrowing technological innovations and automation have caused a decline in the need for
in
Change preposition
apply
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the workforce today.
Hence
, many are of the
opinion
that
this
should reduce working
hours
.
Although
I understand the rationale behind
this
opinion
, I do not strongly agree with it.
This
is mainly because it does not apply to all of life. In the coming paragraphs, I will be shedding more light on my reasons for not agreeing with
this
opinion
strongly. Artificial intelligence has developed remarkably in the
last
few years with computers and other devices and applications filling gaps that human beings once filled and doing it excellently and without flaw.
For example
, book and record keeping are gradually phasing out as jobs since most records are now kept online. Customer service hotlines are
also
mostly automated these days and even when not, technological advancements have made it so that most calls and emails can be sent from home or anywhere else effectively and efficiently. I am of the
opinion
that individuals in
this
line of work should have physical working
hours
since they can be proficient at work regardless of their location.
On the other hand
, professionals like doctors, therapists,
teachers
Correct word choice
and teachers
show examples
amongst others cannot .
This
is because despite the fact that artificial intelligence has advanced to the point where it has made
positive
Add an article
a positive
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and useful impact in these fields, it can never replace the need for physical and clinical examination in medicine, signs and cues picked up during physical interactions with a therapist and the social interaction and cognitive skills gained by children when being taught by a teacher in a classroom.These facts are undeniable and these professionals cannot afford the luxury of working
hours
. In conclusion, I believe that work should be done efficiently and effectively. With the help of technology,
this
can mean less hassle, or none at all depending on the nature of said job. The extent to which technological advancements can impact working
hours
is dependent on its ability to do the job effectively and efficiently without flaw. The job should never suffer
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.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion, which is good. However, ensure you expand a bit more on your argument about why you don't fully agree. This will strengthen the overall task response.
relevant specific examples
Try to better balance the discussion about jobs where automation has significantly reduced working hours and jobs where it hasn’t. At times, the examples provided lean more towards one side.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are complex, which is great, but also ensure clarity and grammatical accuracy in all parts. Simplifying a few sentences can help maintain clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The structure of your essay is clear, with well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion. It guides the reader smoothly through your arguments.
supported main points
Your essay provides relevant examples, particularly in how technology has changed work dynamics in specific sectors like customer service.
logical structure
You've identified key areas where technology cannot replace human interaction, like in medicine and education, which are strong points in your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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