Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
day and age, people
use social media
regularly to contact other
and get news causes a plethora of Fix the agreement mistake
others
consideration
. Fix the agreement mistake
considerations
This
writer concurs that social media
can provide vast information source
and Fix the agreement mistake
sources
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
becoming
easier Verb problem
apply
while
others believe that spend
too much Wrong verb form
spending
time
on devices can be
Verb problem
cause
addicted
.
A beneficial aspect of social Replace the word
addiction
media
is that it can provide people
a
large amount of information in a second. As evidence shows, social Add the preposition
with a
media
can help people
find data, news
and connect with others rapidly and correctly to ensure they can experience the best service. Correct word choice
and news
For instance
, Facebook, Instagram or
Google Correct word choice
and
is
the useful Verb problem
apply
gadget
that support Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
people
’s life
a lot, they can message, call, and update their Fix the agreement mistake
lives
life
on it to keep in touch with their relatives. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Consequently
, social media
bring
them numerous conveniences.
Another advantage of social Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
media
is that it is a timelier and efficient way to access news stories. Compared with aged methods in terms of the
traditional print, broadcast spreading on social platforms is more broadly and fast as there is no need to print out and distribute paper-based sources. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, we are living in an era Change preposition
in that
that
everyone can contribute to updating the incident. Correct pronoun usage
which
Therefore
, the latest broadcast
and updates about one social affair can be found easily on the social network.
It is worth noting that there are both benefits and drawbacks to using social Fix the agreement mistake
broadcasts
media
as people
can be addicted in
it. Change preposition
to
This
is reinforced by the fact that a number of youngsters and teenagers are spend
too much Change the verb form
are spending
time
on devices instead
of hanging out. People
concern
that it will have a negative effect on health and the improvement of Wrong verb form
are concerned
brain
. It is credible, Correct article usage
the brain
on the
contrary
smart devices are providing Add the comma(s)
contrary,
time
setting
to support parents to control their children’s Replace the word
settings
time
on social media
.
Taking everything into consideration, while
social media
has its drawbacks, it also
provides a platform for communication and socialism. Given these points, it is evidence
that the advantages of social Replace the word
evident
media
outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by zky1705202 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, but can benefit from more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. Consider integrating more case studies, statistics, or real-world implications of the points you make. This could make your essay more persuasive and informative.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow between your points can be improved. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to link ideas more smoothly and cohesively, helping the reader to follow your arguments more easily.
coherence cohesion
While referencing to general benefits and drawbacks of social media, try to explore these points in greater depth. Expand on your arguments by discussing the broader societal implications or potential long-term effects. This could provide a more comprehensive analysis and enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.