Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?
A common trend occurring frequently around the globe in all facets of society is people who are using social networking sites to stay in contact with others and get well-informed events.
This
essay argues that in spite of leading to the secondary lifestyle, this
was far outweighed by the benefits in terms of keeping in touch over long distances and updating the news.
One of the main beneficial aspects of using social media
in food is getting connected over long distances. Nowadays, citizens around the world can get in contact without face-to-face meetings by using social media
such
as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. It is especially good for students studying abroad so they can reduce homesickness and have a chat with friends anytime they want. From my prior knowledge, most humans around the globe have also
a social media
account to connect with others.
Another significant advantage of using social media
is updating new events. In other words
, citizens can get news from their nations or around the world. As a result
, they can gain more knowledge and information about what is happening around them. This
is a beneficial aspect for businesses, they can advertise their products online which can come to customers more quickly than the traditional method of using magazines or newspapers.
The main drawbacks associated with using social media
relate to their health. When citizens use virtual platforms too much they do not need to go outside and have a chat, they just stay at home, and scroll down to see newsfeeds, which leads to a secondary lifestyle. This
may be true,
but can be replaced by using social Remove the comma
apply
media
to watch healthy activities and ways to keep fit.
Taking all points into account, the possible impact of people being fat is outweighed by the opportunity to keep in touch with others and update news events. Hence
people need to know what they do, paying more attention to ensure a healthy lifestyle.Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in presenting your arguments. Your essay presents a good structure, but there were moments where the connection between ideas could be clearer. Use transitional phrases to better link sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
It's vital to introduce a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance your essay's flow. While you've used some effectively, expanding your range will further improve coherence.
task achievement
Address the task directly in your introduction, stating clearly whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This sets a clear direction for your essay.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, detailed examples. General statements are used in your essay, but more detailed examples would strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Be cautious with the choice of words and phrases to avoid ambiguity or informal expressions. Aim for precision and formality in academic writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.