Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. Discuss 2 views + give your opinion.
Some individuals argue that schools are wasting
time
on students
when giving sports
in programs, while
others think that sports
in school
play an important role in education. In this
essay, I would like to discuss both views of these perspectives before drawing a conclusion.
On the one hand, there are a lot of schools applying sports
as a physical subject in education programs/school
curricula. However
, some parents still emphasize academic issues and want to spend most of their children’s time
studying and getting high scores in class. Besides
that, the thought of the older generation is the reason they think having sport in school
is a waste of time
and resources. For example
, public school
students
often study all day and have one physical subject within a week in comparison to cultural ones.
On the other hand
, sports
should become a compulsory subject in school
because of their benefits. Playing sports
from a young age (between 8 to
15 is the model Correct word choice
and
time
) has a lot of advantages for children. Teenagers need to not only acquire knowledge but also
enhance their state of physical and mental health. Particularly, in the developing society, adolescents have a higher risk of modern diseases/illnesses such
as obesity, overweight, diabetes, heart attack, etc. As a piece of evidence, schools are giving a chance for students
to have holistic development when organizing extracurricular activities combined with sports
competitions.
To sum up
, despite both views that having private aspects that are suitable for each person, I believe that having sports
in school
plays a crucial role in education but it is a waste of time
if students
spend most of their time
for
entertainment purposes.Change preposition
on
Submitted by ntl250605 on
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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main point supported by specific examples and explanations. While your essay has structure, more detailed examples and clearer explanations would greatly strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure all parts of the essay logically lead into each other. Use transitional phrases more effectively between paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Work on the depth and specificity of your examples. Rather than giving general statements, use specific, detailed examples to support your views. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging.
task achievement
Ensure a balance between discussing both perspectives and your own opinion. Clearly stating your view and consistently supporting it throughout the essay will strengthen your position.