Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. Discuss 2 views + give your opinion.
Some individuals argue that schools are wasting
time
on Use synonyms
students
when giving Use synonyms
sports
in programs, Use synonyms
while
others think that Linking Words
sports
in Use synonyms
school
play an important role in education. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I would like to discuss both views of these perspectives before drawing a conclusion.
On the one hand, there are a lot of schools applying Linking Words
sports
as a physical subject in education programs/Use synonyms
school
curricula. Use synonyms
However
, some parents still emphasize academic issues and want to spend most of their children’s Linking Words
time
studying and getting high scores in class. Use synonyms
Besides
that, the thought of the older generation is the reason they think having sport in Linking Words
school
is a waste of Use synonyms
time
and resources. Use synonyms
For example
, public Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
students
often study all day and have one physical subject within a week in comparison to cultural ones.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
sports
should become a compulsory subject in Use synonyms
school
because of their benefits. Playing Use synonyms
sports
from a young age (between 8 Use synonyms
to
15 is the model Correct word choice
and
time
) has a lot of advantages for children. Teenagers need to not only acquire knowledge but Use synonyms
also
enhance their state of physical and mental health. Particularly, in the developing society, adolescents have a higher risk of modern diseases/illnesses Linking Words
such
as obesity, overweight, diabetes, heart attack, etc. As a piece of evidence, schools are giving a chance for Linking Words
students
to have holistic development when organizing extracurricular activities combined with Use synonyms
sports
competitions.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, despite both views that having private aspects that are suitable for each person, I believe that having Linking Words
sports
in Use synonyms
school
plays a crucial role in education but it is a waste of Use synonyms
time
if Use synonyms
students
spend most of their Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
for
entertainment purposes.Change preposition
on
Submitted by ntl250605 on
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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main point supported by specific examples and explanations. While your essay has structure, more detailed examples and clearer explanations would greatly strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure all parts of the essay logically lead into each other. Use transitional phrases more effectively between paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Work on the depth and specificity of your examples. Rather than giving general statements, use specific, detailed examples to support your views. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging.
task achievement
Ensure a balance between discussing both perspectives and your own opinion. Clearly stating your view and consistently supporting it throughout the essay will strengthen your position.