Some people think that dancing is an important subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time.​ What are positive and negative sides of art at school?​ ​Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples ​ from your experience or knowledge. Write about 180-220 words.

There is an opinion that
children
should have dancing lessons at
school
,
on the other hand
, others believe that
dance
is not as important as other subjects, and would be better to spend time more productively. The benefit of dancing or any other style of
art
is that it helps to project inner feelings to the world, and
children
should know how to express themselves.
Furthermore
,
dance
is a physical train that helps to develop a healthy body.
However
,
art
is not a fundamental knowledge that must be taught at
school
, and it would be better for pupils to take
dance
as an elective course.
Dance
has a lot of positive aspects, which are essential for proper development. The main reason to have a
dance
lesson is the fact that it leads to strong muscles and a high level of body control.
For instance
, almost all professional dancers have healthy and fit bodies.
Furthermore
,
dance
is not just a sport, it is more of an
art
.
Therefore
,
children
should have access to professional teachers who will mentor them in a way to understand the deep meanings of
dance
.
On the other hand
,
dance
is not one of the basic knowledge
that is
mandatory to study.
Furthermore
, some
children
are not interested in dancing as an
art
and they can get physical activity at a PE lesson, and for them,
dance
subject may be useless.
Therefore
, their parents think that it would be better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
pupils who want to
dance
to take courses electively after
school
. In conclusion, the benefits are physical activity, a healthy body and an artistic approach.
However
, there are negative aspects of studying
dance
at
school
, because not all
children
are interested and for them, it is a waste of time.
Submitted by dyussenovaanel on

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Task Achievement
Expand specifically on the topic, ensuring to give more detailed examples or personal anecdotes to illustrate your points. This will enrich the task achievement score by making your arguments more compelling and grounded in reality.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a decent structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, focusing on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them will enhance the reading flow. Try using more linking phrases to connect ideas more cohesively.
Coherence & Cohesion
In terms of supported main points, to improve, ensure that each main point you make about the positive and negative sides of art at school is followed by at least one specific, detailed example. These examples should be clearly related to the point you're making and work to illustrate or prove it.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extracurricular
  • kinesthetic learning
  • aesthetic appreciation
  • cognitive development
  • resource allocation
  • holistic development
  • academic rigor
  • creative outlets
  • physical endurance
  • budget constraints
  • curriculum integration
  • motor skills
  • self-discipline
  • peer interaction
  • cultural awareness
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