Some people think that dancing is an important subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. What are positive and negative sides of art at school? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience or knowledge. Write about 180-220 words.

#people #children #school #waste #time #art #give

There is an opinion that

children

should have dancing lessons at

school

on the other hand

, others believe that

dance

is not as important as other subjects, and would be better to spend time more productively. The benefit of dancing or any other style of

art

is that it helps to project inner feelings to the world, and

children

should know how to express themselves.

Furthermore

dance

is a physical train that helps to develop a healthy body.

However

art

is not a fundamental knowledge that must be taught at

school

, and it would be better for pupils to take

dance

as an elective course.

Dance

has a lot of positive aspects, which are essential for proper development. The main reason to have a

dance

lesson is the fact that it leads to strong muscles and a high level of body control.

For instance

, almost all professional dancers have healthy and fit bodies.

Furthermore

dance

is not just a sport, it is more of an

art

Therefore

children

should have access to professional teachers who will mentor them in a way to understand the deep meanings of

dance

On the other hand

dance

is not one of the basic knowledge

that is

mandatory to study.

Furthermore

, some

children

are not interested in dancing as an

art

and they can get physical activity at a PE lesson, and for them,

dance

subject may be useless.

Therefore

, their parents think that it would be better

Change preposition

for

show examples

pupils who want to

dance

to take courses electively after

school

. In conclusion, the benefits are physical activity, a healthy body and an artistic approach.

However

, there are negative aspects of studying

dance

school

, because not all

children

are interested and for them, it is a waste of time.

Submitted by dyussenovaanel on Tue Mar 19 2024

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Task Achievement

Expand specifically on the topic, ensuring to give more detailed examples or personal anecdotes to illustrate your points. This will enrich the task achievement score by making your arguments more compelling and grounded in reality.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay has a decent structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, focusing on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them will enhance the reading flow. Try using more linking phrases to connect ideas more cohesively.

Coherence & Cohesion

In terms of supported main points, to improve, ensure that each main point you make about the positive and negative sides of art at school is followed by at least one specific, detailed example. These examples should be clearly related to the point you're making and work to illustrate or prove it.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

extracurricular
kinesthetic learning
aesthetic appreciation
cognitive development
resource allocation
holistic development
academic rigor
creative outlets
physical endurance
budget constraints
curriculum integration
motor skills
self-discipline
peer interaction
cultural awareness

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