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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people choose a career, according to the social status and salary it will give them. Others choose a career, according to whether they will enjoy the work. Which do you think is the best way to choose a career? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #career #status #salary #work
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Deciding a profession is an important milestone in our life. It is evident that a part of people select their job
according to
 their social status and remuneration meanwhile other parts of individuals choose the profession in which they enjoy and satisfaction. I think both these play crucial roles in choosing a career.
However
, I personally believe that selecting an endeavour
according to
 our enjoyment would be the best way.
Firstly
, Picking a job by considering salaries and other financial benefits sometimes leads us towards a wealthy life where we have all the physical facilities to live a quality life. What I mean by
this
 is that money is essential to meet our daily needs and wants as we wish. And
thus
, it may be a factor which can influence a person deciding his vocation.
For example
, in Sri Lanka, many poor pupils spend a lot of money on their studies and
as a result
, 90 per cent of those students probably look after the monetary gain from a job.
On the other hand
, determining an occupation in which a person has an interest gives him immense happiness and satisfaction.
This
 is to say that everyone has their own dreams to be in their future and
also
 they work hard to achieve them. So, it is important that thinking about enjoyment and peacefulness when selecting a work is crucial. nowadays,
moreover
, many youngsters decide on their careers
according to
 their interests
such
 as YouTubers and journalists.
To conclude
, monetary rewards and work enjoyment are the main determinants of an individual's employment and people always love to choose their business as per their passion but financial circumstances sometimes make them go behind their career which provides them with a lot of money.
Submitted by ajeevatharsan on

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task achievement
You should aim to develop your main points further, ensuring each idea is fully expanded with clear explanations and specific, relevant examples. Avoid general or undeveloped statements.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, ensure that they are more impactful and succinctly summarize your arguments. A strong thesis statement and summarizing conclusion are essential for high scores.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas clearly, making sure each paragraph has a central theme and that the flow from one paragraph to the next is smooth. Use linking words effectively to establish clear relationships between sentences and paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • job satisfaction
  • social stature
  • monetary compensation
  • vocational passion
  • societal norms
  • pragmatism
  • longevity
  • intrinsic motivation
  • external pressures
  • economic stability
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • prosperity
  • self-actualization
  • financial pragmatism
  • career trajectory
  • vocational contentment
  • occupational prestige
  • personal alignment
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