Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantageous outweigh the disadvantages?

In the modern day, the majority of people communicate and gather information via social
media
.
This
essay approves that despite causing addiction,
this
digital tool’s convenience and availability straightforwardly eradicate the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. The utmost benefit of leveraging social
media
is its convenience. To explain, individuals can now message each other without physically going to the post office in comparison with the previous decades.
In addition
, data can be transferred regardless of the distance
as well as
in a wide variety of formats
such
as image, sound or text.
Consequently
, users can save a fortune to get in touch with friends or relatives,
thus
fostering their work. Another noticeable point involves social
media
’s accessibility. In detail, the cost
for
Change preposition
of
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activating
this
tool is undeniably cheap. Nowadays many markets offer various digital
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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with appropriate prices for every
classes
Change to a singular noun
class
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of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, which promotes a profound
effect
Correct word choice
positive effect
show examples
on people’s living positively.
For example
, youngsters have to pay merely about 150 dollars for a versatile smartphone with a wide range of functions
for instance
calling in conjunction with texting,
transferring
Correct word choice
and transferring
show examples
files.
Thus
it is advisable to gain access to
this
virtual platform in order to serve their needs.
However
, addiction should be the most remarkable issue. To comprehend, the vast of individuals who often delve into
this
virtual environment for pursuits
such
as entertainment or chatting.
This
gradually disturbs people from their usual concentration,
therefore
interrupting the working development. Fortunately, a manipulation in digital gadget usage is able to eliminate
this
obstacle,
thus
outweighs
Wrong verb form
outweighing
show examples
the disadvantage.
As a result
, not only inhabitants can enjoy many benefits from social
media
but
also
avoid a sedentary lifestyle. In conclusion, the convenience and accessibility of social
media
easily outweigh the addiction caused by the reliability of digital devices.
Hence
, people should leverage
this
companion in daily life for maximized productivity.
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses both sides of the argument about social media's advantages and disadvantages. While your essay leans towards the advantages, discussing the disadvantages in a bit more depth can provide a more balanced response.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider more varied transitional phrases to link ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. This will not only enhance the flow of your essay but also make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To enhance your score in supported main points, incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Real-world instances or case studies related to the impact of social media can bolster your points significantly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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