In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
"giving more effort will lead to obtaining any role in life"
That is
what a few societies would often tell Linking Words
kids
, Use synonyms
one
of the benefits is that it would motivate the Use synonyms
child
to seek success ,Use synonyms
while
the drawbacks might reflect on the Linking Words
child
's attitude and mental health in a short and in a long term.
On the Use synonyms
one
hand, telling Use synonyms
kids
to give their maximum effort will encourage them to have big dreams and try more to be successful, to be more specific, they will become more competitive and Use synonyms
this
will be seen in their Linking Words
overall
improved performance among children who are not giving much effort, Linking Words
for example
, Beethoven Linking Words
one
of the most famous musicians had a really strict dad who used to always push him to try even harder from a very young age, Use synonyms
this
was paid off by him being well known between his fellows and people who still mention his name until Linking Words
this
day.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the impacts of social skills and psychological health are bad on the Linking Words
child
, since we are pushing the kid to work and giving him a huge responsibility to try hard like adults which will steal from them their childhood, and even worse Use synonyms
this
mental health effects that they will carry into their adulthood, a recent study was conducted recently on Linking Words
kids
who are required to do a lot, have weak social connection and friendships, and they suffer more than other Use synonyms
kids
with loneliness and grow up depressed or evolved with at least Use synonyms
one
psychological disorder.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, exposing children to do more might have advantages like granting a successful future, but Linking Words
also
the disadvantages are taking part from the Linking Words
child
's personal behaviour in his lifetime.Use synonyms
Submitted by tasneematrash3001 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
The essay could benefit from a clearer introduction that properly sets the context and background for the topic. This would help the reader understand the argument's framework more easily.
logical structure
Organize the essay into distinct paragraphs with clear transitions. Each paragraph should focus on a single point, and transitions should smoothly guide the reader from one idea to the next.
supported main points
Make sure to provide more detailed examples or evidence to support each point made in the essay. This helps to substantiate arguments and provide a stronger basis for the claims.
complete response
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses both advantages and disadvantages as required.
relevant specific examples
Specific examples, such as the reference to Beethoven, add value to the essay by providing concrete illustrations of the points being made.
clear comprehensive ideas
The conclusion encapsulates the main points of the essay effectively, providing a summarizing view of the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.