It is difficult for people in the cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions?

#people #cities #exercise

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Individuals who are living in well-developed areas find it hard to do exertions. There are following factors behind

such

as busy schedule, and availability of machinery. A possible solution to

this

problem is to spread awareness among

people

about limiting the use of modern gadgets. I am going to discuss these points in my essay below.

To begin

with, the factors responsible for

this

situation are the busy routine of the community. Most

people

work

about 7-9 hours daily and when they finish their tasks, they are fully exhausted and unable to do any other activity.

Therefore

, folk prefer to spend some

time

watching TV

while

sitting at their own pace rather than going out or working out.

Secondly

, as everyone is busy with their

work

they don't have

time

to do their chores on their own so they use modern technology to complete their pending

work

. These machines make life super easy and fast now humans are fully dependent on them for their

work

Robots are introduced that make the home clean

instead

of humans.

On the contrary

people

of urban areas try to manage to do each task

that is

hard or easy to do on their own because they do not have

such

resources that

people

living in suburbs have. There are some possible solution to

this

problem, the nation needs to maintain a balanced lifestyle in which they can easily do their routine job

along with

that they

also

try to make

time

for the gym to make themself healthy and fit.

Secondly

, they need to avoid the use of machinery and try to do their

work

with their own hands which is good for them as it keeps them fit and active.

Thirdly

, the government plays a crucial role as well they need to arrange seminars in which they introduce the benefits of physical exercise. So everyone tries to follow the instructions they give in the seminars to remain in good shape. In conclusion, it is a fact that life in the city is like a fast train where

people

are left with no

time

to do another exercise to keep them fit and healthy. but

this

issue can be easily tackled if

people

try to balance between their working life and other activities.

Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on Wed Mar 20 2024

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Introduction Enhancement

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Evidence and Examples Expansion

Expand on your main points by providing more elaborate examples or case studies. This will support your arguments more robustly.

Coherence and Cohesion Improvement

Work on creating smoother transitions between your paragraphs. Utilizing linking phrases can greatly enhance the flow of your essay.

Task Response Deepening

Strive to cover the task's requirements more comprehensively by exploring varied dimensions of the problem and solutions. Your coverage seems somewhat surface-level.

Language and Complexity

Increase the complexity of your sentence structures, which will not only improve readability but also showcase a wider range of language skills.

Conclusive Summary

Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating the importance of the issue and solutions. Your conclusion could benefit from a stronger call to action or final thought.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

379 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyles
desk-bound jobs
fast-paced urban life
conveniences
physical exertion
barrier
densely populated
pollution
safety concerns
urban planning
pedestrian areas
cycle lanes
accessible
workplace wellness programs
subsidize
financial barriers
public awareness
incorporate

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It is difficult for people in the cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?