It is difficult for people in the cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions?
Individuals who are living in well-developed areas find it hard to do exertions. There are following factors behind
such
as busy schedule, and availability of machinery. A possible solution to this
problem is to spread awareness among people
about limiting the use of modern gadgets. I am going to discuss these points in my essay below.
To begin
with, the factors responsible for this
situation are the busy routine of the community. Most people
work
about 7-9 hours daily and when they finish their tasks, they are fully exhausted and unable to do any other activity. Therefore
, folk prefer to spend some time
watching TV while
sitting at their own pace rather than going out or working out. Secondly
, as everyone is busy with their work
they don't have time
to do their chores on their own so they use modern technology to complete their pending work
. These machines make life super easy and fast now humans are fully dependent on them for their work
Robots are introduced that make the home clean instead
of humans. On the contrary
, people
of urban areas try to manage to do each task that is
hard or easy to do on their own because they do not have such
resources that people
living in suburbs have.
There are some possible solution to this
problem, the nation needs to maintain a balanced lifestyle in which they can easily do their routine job along with
that they also
try to make time
for the gym to make themself healthy and fit. Secondly
, they need to avoid the use of machinery and try to do their work
with their own hands which is good for them as it keeps them fit and active. Thirdly
, the government plays a crucial role as well they need to arrange seminars in which they introduce the benefits of physical exercise. So everyone tries to follow the instructions they give in the seminars to remain in good shape.
In conclusion, it is a fact that life in the city is like a fast train where people
are left with no time
to do another exercise to keep them fit and healthy. but this
issue can be easily tackled if people
try to balance between their working life and other activities.Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on
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Introduction Enhancement
Consider introducing your essay with a more detailed background of the issue, this sets up the context for your discussion. Your introduction is concise but lacks depth.
Evidence and Examples Expansion
Expand on your main points by providing more elaborate examples or case studies. This will support your arguments more robustly.
Coherence and Cohesion Improvement
Work on creating smoother transitions between your paragraphs. Utilizing linking phrases can greatly enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Response Deepening
Strive to cover the task's requirements more comprehensively by exploring varied dimensions of the problem and solutions. Your coverage seems somewhat surface-level.
Language and Complexity
Increase the complexity of your sentence structures, which will not only improve readability but also showcase a wider range of language skills.
Conclusive Summary
Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating the importance of the issue and solutions. Your conclusion could benefit from a stronger call to action or final thought.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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