Some people say that students should pay all fee for their university education as it benefits individual more than the whole society. to what extand do you agree or disagree

Some people say that undergraduates should pay all
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
for their
university
education because society’s benefits
is
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are
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less than
individuals
Correct your spelling
individual
show examples
ones. I personally partly agree with
this
statement. I will prove my point of view in
this
essay. On the one hand,
Students
have more responsibilities for their studying if they have to spend
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
money
in
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on
show examples
school tuition. The financial burden from school always exists, so the undergraduates have
awareness
Correct article usage
an awareness
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to
be focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
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on their
studying
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studies
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.
As
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By
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concentrating on
university
education,
students
get more
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
which is essential for their future and the learning quality is raised by themselves.
As a result
, they can contribute much more benefits
for
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to
show examples
society after graduation.
On the other hand
, the government should have scholarships for
students
who seek
for
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apply
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financial aid. Some
students
who are in need of
grant
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grants
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lack the condition
going
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of going
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to
university
if they have to pay
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
cost for studying. These people can be overqualified with
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
talent, but they don’t continue their
studying
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studies
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since
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because of
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the financial burden. So obviously, our country will
lost
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lose
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talented individuals who can create lots of good
invention
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inventions
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in the future.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, The scholarships can help them to get a good education to develop their capacity. Universities can make
a
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an
show examples
entrance exam to check each own talent to decide the scholarship for
students
. In conclusion, the
university
fee should be continued to
pay
Wrong verb form
be paid
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by the government.
However
, the government only give studying
cost
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costs
show examples
under scholarship
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
for the real
talent
Replace the word
talented
show examples
students
who are going to build our country.
Submitted by huyentrang712 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Work on diversifying your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. Try incorporating complex sentences and varying your sentence beginnings to avoid repetition.
Task Achievement
Enhance your paragraphs with more specific examples. While you discuss general benefits and issues, providing concrete examples will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
General
Pay attention to article use and verb conjugations to improve grammatical accuracy. Reviewing these areas can significantly enhance the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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