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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average numbers of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average numbers of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
#show #temperatures #numbers #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities
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The graph presents information about the average monthly
temperatures
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the table provides data about the average number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 in three capital cities.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the average
temperatures
Use synonyms
 all
year
Use synonyms
 between New
York
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
 are similar in that the primary and final of the
year
Use synonyms
 have low
temperatures
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the middle
year
Use synonyms
 has high
temperatures
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, Opposite
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
, Total annual house of
sunshine
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, New
York
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 and
Sydney
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 have more
hours
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 of
sunshine
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 than
London
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the average monthly
temperatures
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 in three central cities.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
 starts from 8
degrees
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 in
January
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. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the temperature increases moderately to 23
degrees
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 in July
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and decreases slightly to 10
degrees
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 in December.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the temperature of New
York
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 in
January
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 is 5
degrees
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 and dramatically increases to 30
degrees
Use synonyms
 in July, before moving to 5
degrees
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 in December
as well as
Linking Words
 in
January
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.
However
Linking Words
, temperature in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 starts from 26
degrees
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 in
January
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 and minimally decreases to 15
degrees
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, before moving to 25
degrees
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 in December.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the number of
sunshine
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hours
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, 2 similar cities are New
York
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 and
Sydney
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. They have 2,535 and 2,473
hours
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 per
year
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.
However
Linking Words
,
London
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 has 1,180
hours
Use synonyms
 in a
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kristiwatanayothin on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperatures, hours, sunshine, year, york, london, sydney, degrees, january with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperatures
  • annual sunshine hours
  • temperature fluctuation
  • degrees Celsius/Fahrenheit
  • climatic patterns
  • geographical location
  • seasonal variation
  • meteorological data
  • inhabitants' lifestyle
  • tourism industry
  • seasonal activities
  • thermal comfort
  • climate zone
  • sunlight exposure
  • weather trends
  • correlation
  • biodiversity
  • eco-system
  • temperate climate
  • tropical climate
  • desert climate
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