IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

It is commonly said that death is must required for a criminals whereas another people says life long imprisonment is necessary .Give your opinion and discuss both the veiws

#death #criminals #people #life #imprisonment #veiws
The punishment for heavy offenders is debatable, some say they must receive corporal
panishment
Correct your spelling
punishment
while
 others say they should rote in jail cells. In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
exermine
Correct your spelling
examine
 both sides before
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 explain why I support
life
 imprisonment over
deathe sentance
Correct your spelling
death sentence
. On the one hand,
proponets
Correct your spelling
proponents
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
sentance
Correct your spelling
sentence
 believe that when someone
commit
Change the verb form
commits
show examples
 a major crime must be hanged.
For instance
, if someone takes
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
life
 of another his
life
 must be condemned too, he does not deserve to live for he deliberately spilled innocent blood. They argue that locking these monsters is not good enough because they
willbe
Correct your spelling
will
 still enjoying
life
 despite being restricted from the outside world.
On the other hand
, advocates of
life
 imprisonment for criminals
content
Correct your spelling
contend
show examples
 that every human being has the right to
life
nomater
Correct your spelling
no matter
no mater
 the offence committed. They believe that
Correct article usage
the incaceration
show examples
incaceration
Correct your spelling
incarceration
 of criminals for their entire
life
 is more
painfull
Correct your spelling
painful
 than ending their lives. In
this
 regard, they
asertain
Correct your spelling
assert
 that these people should
also
 provide hard labour in farms and other productions rather than staying in the cells
while
 eating and sleeping for free. With both sides examined I personal the idea of
lock
Wrong verb form
locking
show examples
 them up and
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricting
show examples
 their freedom forever.
Above
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 they must be used as free labour
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 farms. In conclusion, I believe
this
 matter should be taken seriously because
eithere
Correct your spelling
either
 of
these punishment
Change the determiner
this punishment
these punishments
show examples
 should be a great
leason
Correct your spelling
lesson
 to others
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to reduce crime in communities.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the essay topic and your stance on it. A brief explanation of your upcoming arguments will help clarify your position from the beginning.
task achievement
Work on structuring your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported with relevant examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure there is a clear logical flow to your essay. Use transitional phrases between paragraphs and within them to show the relationship between your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve readability. Accurate language use will enhance the overall clarity of your message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: