Many people argue that the use of technology, such as smartphones and social media, has had a negative impact on interpersonal communication skills. Others believe that technology has enhanced communication and connectivity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
In contemporary society, the use of
smartphones
and social media
has sparked a heated debate regarding its impact on personal behaviour skills. While
some argue that these technologies
have detrimental effects, others believe that they facilitate communication
and connection among individuals. In this
essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my viewpoint on the matter.
On one hand, critics of smartphones
and social media
assume that excessive usage
leads to negative behavioural outcomes. They argue that constant engagement with digital devices can result in decreased face-to-face interaction, diminished social skills, and increased feelings of isolation. Moreover
, the addictive nature of social media
platforms may contribute to attention deficits and reduced productivity. For example
, studies have shown a correlation between excessive social media
use and mental health issues such
as anxiety and depression.
On the other hand
, proponents of technology argue that smartphones
and social media
platforms play a crucial role in facilitating communication
and connectivity. They emphasize the benefits of instant messaging, video calls, and social networking sites in maintaining relationships and fostering community engagement. Additionally
, digital technologies
provide opportunities for individuals to express themselves creatively and access information and resources that were previously unavailable. For instance
, social media
platforms have been instrumental in organizing social movements and raising awareness about important issues.
In my opinion, while
it is important to acknowledge the potential drawbacks of excessive smartphone and social media
usage
, it would be misguided to overlook their positive contributions to communication
and connectivity. Rather than advocating for a complete ban on these technologies
, measures should be implemented to promote responsible usage
and digital literacy. This
could include education programs aimed at teaching individuals how to navigate the digital landscape safely and responsibly, as well as
guidelines for parents and educators on managing screen time for children.
In conclusion, the debate surrounding the impact of smartphones
and social media
on personal behaviour skills is complex and multifaceted. While
there are valid concerns about the negative effects of excessive usage
, it is essential to recognize the positive role that these technologies
play in facilitating communication
and connection. By adopting a balanced approach that promotes responsible usage
and digital literacy, we can harness the benefits of technology while
mitigating its potential drawbacksSubmitted by wulandarianggieta on
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task response
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis. Your essay did this well by neatly setting up the discussion.
task response
Develop your main points with more specific examples or evidence. While you mentioned studies and social movements, citing specific studies or detailing particular movements can strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a logical flow by connecting paragraphs and ideas more explicitly. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to signal the relationship between ideas, not just at the beginning of paragraphs.
task response
Try to balance the discussion by equally elaborating on both viewpoints before presenting your own. This essay slightly favours the pro-technology perspective.
coherence and cohesion
End with a more impactful conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed and clearly restating your stance, linking it back to the broader implications or future outlook.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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