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Writing Samples
Band 6

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. DO ADV >< DISADV

#development #technology #machines #work #people #adv #disadv
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There is a phenomenon of mechanical workers dominating the workforce. The writer indicates that the drawbacks of increasing unemployment rates are outweighed by the benefit of boosting productivity and new product creation Alleviating work strain is one of the most beneficial aspects of using machines. To be more specific, a quality production made by hand needs a lot of time and effort, so it will put substantial pressure on the workers.
Instead
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, by having
gadget
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gadgets
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 with painstaking accuracy and speed, the amount of
products
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 will increase efficiency.
As a result
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, the workers just need to recheck the output, which costs less time than making a product manually The high opportunities for creating new
products
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 must be taken into consideration. It must be recognized that with the replacement of
appliance
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appliances
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, the workforce is more likely to have more free time to take advantage of their creativity. These people are capable of using their brains to create new
products
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, leading to an increase in various types of
products
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.
This
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 will not only satisfy the demand of the customers but
also
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 increase the revenue of a specific organization or person.
However
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, some
skeptics
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sceptics
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 argue that automation replacement leads many people to be unemployed. Companies have a destiny to employ machines rather than labour
due to
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 the advantages
such
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 as non-stop operation, and high efficiency, which means no labourers are employed to do the work, directly leading to unemployment. Taking all points into account, alleviating woke pressure and customer satisfaction clearly outweigh the disadvantages of joblessness.
Hence
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, it is more beneficial to use machines
instead
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 of humans in doing work.
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coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay by adding a clearer introduction that directly addresses the essay prompt. A thesis statement summarizing your main points will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should more explicitly reiterate your position and summarize the key points made. This reinforces your argument and provides a clear closure.
task achievement
Although your main points are supported, consider adding more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios make your essay more persuasive and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay maintains a logical flow by using transitional phrases between paragraphs. This helps guide the reader through your argument smoothly and enhances your essay's coherence.
task achievement
Consider both sides of the argument in greater detail to fully address the prompt. Demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the topic by acknowledging counterarguments and refuting them strengthens your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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