With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more of these natural resources. To what extent do you agree?
With the development of industrialization, the demand for oil and gas has been increasing.
As a result
, many people argue that undiscovered areas
of the world should be exploited to obtain more resources
, while
others believe that obtaining resources
from unknown areas
can have unpredictable consequences. I disagree with the idea of gaining more natural resources
in pristine areas
.
On the one hand, raw areas
being opened may cause environmental damage. Pristine areas
may contain some substances that have never been discovered, which may lead to unpredictable consequences such
as ecological environment damage, and biological habitat destruction. For instance
, research discovered that ancient viruses have been buried deep in glaciers, and scientists studied two glacier cores and found that 28 unknown virus groups were buried in them last
year. As a result
, if undiscovered areas
of the world are exploited, the environment may face a perilous situation.
On the other hand
, developing new areas
to obtain natural resources
may lead to environmental pollution. Generally, developing areas
require enough space, so people will clear land and forests are cut down, which leads to serious undermining of the ecosystem. For example
, according to
relevant reports from the United Nations, desertification of 70% of land is closely related to over-exploitation. Moreover
, developed areas
may cause excessive water use and water pollution, which results in decreasing water quality and the destruction of aquatic life zones. Consequently
, the impact of developing an area is more harmful than beneficial.
In conclusion, I disagree with the development of pristine areas
in search of fossil fuels, as the development of undiscovered areas
may cause serious deprivation that cannot be predicted or remedied.Submitted by hsmkashi on
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Coherence Cohesion
To enhance your essay, try varying your sentence structure more to demonstrate a wider range of linguistic skills. While your sentences are well-formed, greater variety could further engage your reader.
Coherence Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the overall flow and readability of your text.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, consider discussing potential benefits of natural resource exploration in undiscovered areas and then refuting these points, to provide a more balanced perspective before concluding your own stance. This approach can add depth to your essay and demonstrate critical thinking.
Coherence Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly outline your position, effectively framing the essay and providing a coherent structure.
Task Achievement
You've supported your main points with detailed examples and explanations, which strengthens your argument and provides a clear line of reasoning throughout the essay.