IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that nowadays most important nature-related issues are the extinction of trees and species,
whereas
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 others argue that global warming,climate change,and air pollution are the main problems for the
environment
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.In my opinion,I think that we should not focus on any particular
problem
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 rather we should concentrate on every
problem
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 because it is related to the
environment
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. On the one hand,trees and animals are an important part of our nature.Without plants and species, we must
face
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 ecological balance in our
environment
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.
In addition
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,our food chain must
face
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 interruption,which is very harmful to our
environment
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.
Moreover
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,other species can find less food in nature because of food chain interruption.
For instance
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,snakes are decreasing day by day,which will increase rats' inhabitation in vegetation fields.After that,rats can destroy our crops and the world's food-related issues can be started.
On the other hand
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,a lot of people think that there are more important environmental problems
such
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 as floods,deforestation,global warming etc.Global warming has been a burning
problem
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 in recent times because of greenhouse gas emissions.Several factories are emitting carbon into the air,which is creating global warming.
In contrast
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,powerful countries are taking action to reduce carbon emissions and focusing on renewable energy.Deforestation is another major
problem
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,
due to
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 the fact that deforestation destroys animal's inhabitation.
Additionally
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,natural disasters like floods and storms are happening on a regular basis.
For example
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,Bangladesh cut down a part of the mangrove forest,which is called "Shundorbon Forest" Because of that people of Bangladesh
face
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 natural disasters regularly. In conclusion, we should focus on every
problem
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 related to the
environment
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 and should raise our voices as much as possible.
Otherwise
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, we will
face
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 natural disasters on a regular basis.

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task achievement
Focus on providing a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your main argument or stance. This helps set the expectation for the reader about what your essay will cover.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a logical structure by having clear paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. This makes your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This can help to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more details or demonstrating how they specifically support your point. This can help to make your arguments more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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