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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram indicates the life process of the honey bee

The diagram indicates the life process of the honey bee
The diagram illustrates the information
of
Change preposition
on
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 the life cycle of the insect called
honey
Correct article usage
the honey
show examples
bee
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there are six stages of
honey
Correct article usage
a honey
show examples
bee
Use synonyms
's life in the period of 34-36
days
Use synonyms
, Beginning with the eggs
stage
Use synonyms
 and Ending with the adult
stage
Use synonyms
. Looking
at the first
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
, known as the egg
stage
Use synonyms
, young
Use synonyms
bee
Fix the agreement mistake
bees
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 emerge out of the egg after
the
Correct article usage
a
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 period of 9-10
days
Use synonyms
. It takes around 5
days
Use synonyms
 to grow bigger , and after that, 7
days
Use synonyms
 to become a nymph at the third
stage
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. In the fourth
stage
Use synonyms
 called nymph. it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 3
time
Change to a plural noun
times
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 much bigger as it
getting
Change the form of the verb
gets
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 more mature. Once it reaches
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 adult
stage
Use synonyms
 it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 even more gigantic. It takes up to 4
days
Use synonyms
 to get
in to
Join the words
into
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 adulthood. In
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
stage
Add a comma
stage,
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 the female lays
on
Correct your spelling
one
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 to two eggs every three
days
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 is the continuation of honey
bee
Use synonyms
 species.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words bee, days, stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollination
  • Ecosystems
  • Metamorphosis
  • Larva
  • Pupa
  • Nectar
  • Pollen
  • Foraging
  • Hive
  • Cell
  • Workers
  • Drones
  • Queen Bee
  • Mating Flight
  • Capped Cell
  • Colony
  • Reproduction
  • Brood
  • Apiary
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