some people argue that parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. Others believe that young people should make these decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The importance of
parents
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having a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners, which was always debatable, has now become more controversial, with many
people
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claiming that it is
beneficial
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beneficial,
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while
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others reject
this
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notion. The substantial influence of
this
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trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.
This
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essay will
further
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elaborate on both views and
thus
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lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriad
of
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apply
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reasons which will
further
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explain
this
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argument, but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that
parents
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have greater life experience and can guide their children towards suitable
people
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.
This
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is important because young individuals may sometimes make decisions based mainly on emotions without considering the long-term consequences. Another pivotal aspect of
this
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argument is that
parents
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generally understand their children's personality, family background, and future needs.
Therefore
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, their advice can help young
people
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avoid unhealthy friendships or relationships. Needless to say, all these merits stand in good stead.
However
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, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments and which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of
this
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trend, but one of the most alarming ones is that excessive parental involvement may restrict the freedom of young
people
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. They should be able to choose their own friends and life partners because these relationships directly affect their happiness.
Moreover
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, making
such
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decisions independently can help them develop confidence and decision-making skills.
Hence
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, it is apparent why many are against strong parental control.
According to
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the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that the benefits of parental guidance are instrumental indeed.
Nevertheless
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,
parents
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should provide advice rather than completely control their children's decisions, and the final choice should ultimately belong to the young person.

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task response
Overall score: 6. The answer is complete and clear, but the ideas need more detail. Add one real or clear example for each side. For example, a parent may see that a friend has bad habits; on the other hand, a young adult may know what kind of partner makes them happy.
task response
Your opinion changes a little. In the introduction, you say parents should have strong influence. In the conclusion, you say the final choice should be the young person’s. State this balanced view clearly from the start: parents should guide, but should not control.
task response
Avoid broad or repeated lines such as “all these merits stand in good stead” and “the potential influence of this trend”. Say exactly how and why parents’ help is useful.
coherence and cohesion
The order of paragraphs is good, but some sentences are too long and full of extra words. Use shorter, direct sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use set phrases like “There are myriad of reasons”, “the most preponderant one”, or “According to the arguments aforementioned above”. These make the writing less clear. Use simple words: “One reason is”, “Another reason is”, and “In conclusion”.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point stronger with a clear pattern: point, reason, example, result. This will help each paragraph feel more complete and connected.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. Your final point is clear: parents should give advice, but the young person should choose.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic. You explain why parents can help and why too much control can be bad.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part plan: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “However”, “Moreover”, “Therefore”, and “Nevertheless” to show the change between ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Influence
  • Decision-making
  • Life experience
  • Cultural values
  • Family approval
  • Independence
  • Personal connections
  • Mutual respect
  • Interpersonal skills
  • External interference
  • Mental well-being
  • Negative influences
  • Navigate
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