IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

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In today's world, it is considered that the consumption of creatures as a
source
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 of food and for making various objects is unnecessary in the world of medicines and garments.
However
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, I believe it is the correct notion, most
people
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 are now using alternatives and utilizing other sources for
such
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 reasons. I will discuss
this
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 in detail in my essay below.
To begin
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 with, other sources can be used to make these things for
such
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 purposes
instead
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 of animals.
For instance
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, many herbs are now used to make medicines, and many vegetables including ginger are most commonly used to cure many heart-related diseases
such
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 as high blood pressure, stroke, and many more. The same is happening with others no one is using animal fur for making bags and jackets
instead
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people
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 are utilizing clothes to make bags by putting some beads and embroidery on them.
Furthermore
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, these days many
people
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 are facing health issues, especially piles, cancer, and high blood pressure that are mainly
due to
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 fat intake. So, most
people
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 prefer to consume meat to live a healthy life but
due to
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 awareness, they limit their use.
In contrast
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 to
this
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people
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 prefer to bring food
that is
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 rich in nutrients and avoid eating meat. So they are more focused on vegetables and taking them in their diet and feel fresh and taking a heavy
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 of nutrients in them.
For example
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, mushroom is considered the best
source
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 of protein and is used for many healthy purposes. In conclusion, it is true that the limited animal fabric they are used for many reasons but it is not so. There are many other ways to live a healthy lifestyle. We can choose a different
source
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 of nourishment, medicine, and clothing without any toll on wild animals

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Content & Development
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument with specific examples and clear explanations.
Language Use
Work on varying your sentence structures to add complexity and fluency to your writing.
Content & Development
Consider revisiting your argument structure to provide a more balanced view when discussing agreement or disagreement topics.
Organization & Format
Make sure your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your main points and overall stance on the topic.
Task Achievement
You have provided a clear stance on the given topic, which is essential for task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay includes a logical progression of ideas which aids in the overall coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and reaffirms your stance, contributing to a complete task response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable
  • ethical alternatives
  • global demand
  • genetic engineering
  • synthetic biology
  • plant-based diets
  • environmental footprint
  • veganism
  • biotechnology
  • cultural sensitivity
  • economic viability
  • lab-grown meat
  • synthetic materials
  • global infrastructure
  • consumer habits
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