In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is prevalent in some countries that most

students

Use synonyms

prefer to stop their universities for a short term in order to work or travel el abroad. There are many advantages s of

this

Linking Words

tendency,

such

Linking Words

as gaining

experience

Use synonyms

and reducing stress. Meanwhile, it may have downsides like adaptation problems and feeling disorientation. On the one hand, the major benefit of breaking education is that

this

Linking Words

process not only gives

students

Use synonyms

a head

starting

Wrong verb form

start

show examples

over others in the working industry

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

improves their mental health.

Firstly

Linking Words

, before young ones start their studies, they may gain work

experience

Use synonyms

, do

internship

Fix the agreement mistake

internships

show examples

, and have important communication and business skills, which will be advantageous to skilled ones compared to others in vacancies and interviews.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, individuals who enter the prestigious university under pressure and stressful conditions may not keep their mental health, experiencing some symptoms

such

Linking Words

as anxiety and aggressiveness. By travelling overseas, they may relax, reduce

the

Change the word

their

show examples

stress, and escape from

Correct article usage

the

show examples

hectic pace of academic life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

who pause their academic life may

experience

Use synonyms

some troubles when

re- entering

Correct your spelling

re-entering

show examples

such

Linking Words

as adjustment and social issues. The one drawback is that teenagers may be exposed to isolation and social exclusion. When they return, they are not able to make friends and get used to

hang

Change the verb form

hanging

show examples

out immediate surroundings.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they will not be able to adapt to subjects quickly.

For example

Linking Words

, the majority of

students

Use synonyms

experience

Use synonyms

adaptation problems after returning from vacation. In conclusion, getting rid of education for relaxation or working might be beneficial as people obtain work

experience

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

being able to maintain their mental health.

However

Linking Words

ones

Correct pronoun usage

those

show examples

who break their studies face social and adaptation problems.

writingbhosSun Mar 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a logical flow in writing. Use linking phrases to better connect ideas and enhance cohesion across paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Introduce the topic and state your position clearly in the introduction. Summarize the main ideas and restate your view in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Expand upon main points by including more concrete examples and demonstrations of how your arguments apply.

task achievement

Address the task's requirements fully. Make sure to cover all parts of the prompt in your discussion to ensure a complete response.

task achievement

Clarify your ideas by organizing them more effectively. Develop each point thoroughly with supporting information.

task achievement

Enhance the specificity of your examples to directly support your arguments. Use relevant and detailed examples to make your case stronger.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
The face to face contact is better. Is it positive or negative development?
With an implementation of the gadgets, a diversity of messengers occurred, according to which the number of users is increasing. Thanks to this, there is a conscientious objection of the face-to-face communication, which in my opinion is a negative development, leading to an isolation and other issues.
<4
band
When choosing the best candidate for a job, employers should consider personal qualities more than qualification and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
while beak up the best person for work must consider personal qualities more than qualifcation and experience. I completly agree that this personal qualities it is very important for a job.
5.5
band
Some People Think That Success In Life Comes From Hard Work And Determination, While Others Think That There Are More Important Factors Such As Money And Appearance
There is a controversial topic: some personalities like determination or industriousness often lead to success in life, while others think the wealthy and beauty can be more suitable reasons. From this author's perspective, money and appearance can be beneficial to success because they impress people around, but hard work and determination are better at proving a worker's ability.
7.5
band
250 words The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.-
The assertion that the average standard of people's health will likely decline in the future is fundamentally misguided. In reality, numerous advancements in healthcare, technology, and public awareness indicate a promising trajectory for improvements in health and well-being in the years ahead.
7
band
In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them.what are some of the advantages and disadvantages of renting homes ?
These days, it is important that people's ideas about everything have been changing and they choose things; in contrast, in the past, they did not like them. For instance, having a home is one of these things because now in some countries, people prefer to rent houses instead of buying them; however, in the past, most people had their own place to live. while there are some benefits of renting a home, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the drawbacks.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Your opinion

The face to face contact is better. Is it positive or negative development?

When choosing the best candidate for a job, employers should consider personal qualities more than qualification and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some People Think That Success In Life Comes From Hard Work And Determination, While Others Think That There Are More Important Factors Such As Money And Appearance

250 words The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.-

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them.what are some of the advantages and disadvantages of renting homes ?