It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Taking
risks
is inevitable in our lives. Facing some risks
is a crucial part of going through both our professional and personal lives. While
it has some deficits, these are negligible compared to the benefits. This
essay will discuss the positive and negative aspects of taking risks
and argue why it is superior.
To begin
with, in our lives
we will discover numerous opportunities that come with their own Add a comma
lives,
risks
and goods. Even when we want to achieve something secured, it still consists of several chances of getting failed. Although
it seems scary most of the time, I believe facing some risks
can establish and strengthen great characteristics in ourselves. For instance
, if we are not brave enough to fail when applying for scholarships, we will never have a chance to get accepted for those scholarships instead
. Even though we fail, we can gain a lot of lessons learned which can be useful for our personal growth.
Furthermore
, life has its ups and downs. There may be other good things
behind some bad things
. I think, whenever we choose to make unclear and risky decisions, we also
learn how to manage and minimize those risks
to happen, without realizing it. To give a clear example of that is
when some companies decided to open their new store branch in a new potential area. They must consider every positive or negative probability that could happen which we can refer as
risk management.
In short, every good thing will come with its own potential for bad Change preposition
to as
things
. The braver you are in facing some risks
, the larger chances you get in achieving many good things
ahead and the better you are as a person.Submitted by hahahihi on
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coherence cohesion
To further improve your essay, consider integrating a wider range of connectors and synonyms to enhance the flow of ideas and avoid repetitions. This will also aid in demonstrating a more sophisticated command of language.
task achievement
While you've included examples, strive to provide even more specific and varied instances to strengthen your argument. Examples drawn from a wide range of contexts or personal experiences can add depth and persuasiveness to your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider developing your introduction and conclusion further. A more distinctive thesis statement at the beginning and a conclusive summarization reiterating your main points and stance can make your argument more compelling.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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