Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding the changes. Others, however think that changes is always a good thing. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.
Staying in the comfort zone and not taking risks is some
people
's approach. While
others are welcoming anything new. From my perspective, shifts in life
make a significant contribution to success and certainly change people
's lives in a good way.
The world is constantly changing and people
who cope with it may make their life
easier. For thousands of years, many communities tried to stay in the same place and not change but eventually, everything changed. In the past, when a new trend like women becoming doctors, was introduced, many did not accept it and tried to resist it but like it or not, it happened and they just made their lives unbearable. In addition
, diversity prevents routineness. individuals who are facing new experiences are more likely to have a lively life
and
full of excitement. Like going on travels frequently where there is Correct word choice
apply
this
opportunity for people
to enjoy new things that come up and feel fresh due to
all the activities that they engage in.
However
, others' points of view are against this
idea. they believe their belongings may be lost by changes. Their possessions which they have accomplished through hard work and a lot of effort could vanish with a small change. For instance
, a person who invests all his/her wealth to start a new business exposes his/her life
to bankruptcy. Furthermore
, variations lead to stress and anxiety. All kinds of changes and risks push life
out of the ordinary and bring people
into a world of unknowns and uncertainties which make them feel nervous. Like changing jobs, people
can not be sure if it is a
right choice because they have no idea about its cons and pros and may have a severe impact on their Correct article usage
the
life
so it causes stress Fix the agreement mistake
lives
feeling
in individuals.
In conclusion, though, staying in the same place and not accepting changes may keep Verb problem
apply
people
safe, but, variations are inevitable and everyone faces diversity in their life
so instead
of ignoring them it is better to face it and find our way to a better life
throughout of it.Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, consider linking your paragraphs and ideas more clearly. Use discourse markers like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'Consequently' to create stronger connections.
Task Response
To improve task response, strive to balance the discussion of both viewpoints before stating your opinion. Ensure equal development of ideas on both sides of the argument to fully address the task.
Task Achivement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your claims. This strengthens the response and provides clearer evidence of your arguments, boosting your score in task achievement.
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