Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearances. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued that two personalities are hard-working and determined play a vital role in
successful
life, Add an article
a successful
whereas
a number of people
believe that alternative factors such
as outlook and finance are also
a primary foundation. This
writer will analyze both sides of the argument and showthe
Correct your spelling
show the
reason
why I agree with the importance of diligence and Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
efforts
.
It must be Fix the agreement mistake
effort
understoodthat
industrious and determined Correct your spelling
understood that
peopleare
effortless to Correct your spelling
people are
getbetter
life. It should be Correct your spelling
get better
acknowledgedthat
making attempts and keeping word Correct your spelling
acknowledged that
hardlead
to recolonization of nearby Correct your spelling
hard lead
people
. This
is due to
the fact that people
with these characteristics may accomplish the smallest things that lay a foundation for a number of vital work
. Take Fix the agreement mistake
works
educational
environment as an interesting instance, students who are industrious and determined tend to get better educational achievements than others. Correct article usage
the educational
That is
the reason why I believe that diligence and determination are essential factors that have beneficial
impact on Add an article
a beneficial
future
career.
On the alternative hand, it Add an article
a future
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must be
mustbe
recognized
that outlook and fortune are Correct your spelling
must be
main
keys to Correct article usage
the main
be
successful. It should be noted that if Wrong verb form
being
people
have both money and good-looking
face, they will have a tendency to get on well with others Correct article usage
a good-looking
that
may Correct pronoun usage
which
fosters
relationships between them. Eventually, it is not complicated for Change the verb form
foster
people
to get permanent and high-paid job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
However
, people
who are wealthy and good-looking without dedication and diligence tend to be easy to get failure. For example
, the rich have a propensity that do
not Verb problem
apply
try
hard
and dedicate during their life. Fix the infinitive
to try
Hence
, although
they have an advantageous beginning on the contrary
they lose it immediately
Taking everything into account, although
appearance and financial position have a great impact on achievement, hard work and determination are the most dominant factors in the way of success.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider improving the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph clearly addresses a single viewpoint or argument. Try to separate ideas more cleanly to aid the reader's understanding.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph to immediately clarify the main idea of that paragraph, enhancing coherence.
Lexical Resource
Your essay would benefit from more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas more accurately and engagingly.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your arguments further by including more specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your task achievement by making your position and reasoning clearer to the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. There are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be improved.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.