IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some parents believe that they should protect their children from doing any mistakes while others believe they should make mistakes freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should be protected by their
parents
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 from making any kind of
mistakes
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,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that allowing them to make
mistakes
Use synonyms
 is the best path for developing
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
.
This
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 essay agrees with the latter point and will show that, despite the protection from
mistakes
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 helps develop a sense of responsibility, learning from blunders boosts problem-solving skills. Some believe that
parents
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 protecting juveniles from making
mistakes
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 fosters responsibility in them relating to various disciplines.
This
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 is because the
parents
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 guide and teach their
children
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 when they are performing their work to do each and every task effectively and efficiently which in turn
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them responsible
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
For example
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, when elders give their offspring pocket money to guide them to manage that much money,
as a result
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, they are prepared for future circumstances.
However
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, overprotection can lead to fear of failure in
children
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. Taking lessons from wrong-doings helps offspring to build problem-solving skills. When students make
mistakes
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 in their work, they find a
way
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 to rectify their problems which develops child's critical thinking and in
this
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way
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, they learn from their own
mistakes
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.
For instance
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, when
children
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 ride a cycle in the initial stages of their learning, they fall from a cycle a number of times, but at one point in time, they are able to ride a cycle , without fear of falling or even no aid is provided by
parents
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 to them.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe that learning from
mistakes
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 is the best
way
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 to reduce
mistakes
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. In conclusion, despite protection from
mistakes
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 provided by
parents
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instils
Verb problem
instilling
show examples
 a sense of responsibility in them,
this
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 essay believes that letting
children
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 feel free helps them to think in a great
way
Use synonyms
 and find solutions for obstacles on their own.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear, logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Use linking words effectively to connect paragraphs and sentences, but beware of overusing them or making them sound forced.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are crucial for framing your essay. Your introduction should succinctly introduce the topic and your stance, while your conclusion should summarize the key points and reiterate your position clearly. Consider refining your conclusion for a stronger impact.
task achievement
Develop each main point with specific, detailed examples. While you've done this well, enhancing the depth and relevance of your examples can strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that your response is not only complete but also thoroughly addresses every aspect of the task. Present clear and comprehensive ideas that directly respond to the essay topic and question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overprotection
  • Resilience
  • Adaptability
  • Critical thinking
  • Societal judgment
  • Discipline
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Independence
  • Guidance
  • Balanced approach
  • Fend for themselves
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