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Writing Samples
Band 6

Social media promote a healthy or unhealthy lifestyle? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the modern era, social
media
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 has become
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of
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apply
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a part of our daily lifestyle undeniably. We use social
media
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 to communicate with friends or check Instagram in the morning. It can be a powerful tool for encouraging
people
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 to have healthy or unhealthy lifestyles.
This
Linking Words
 article explores the multifaceted impact of social
media
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 platforms, discussing both positive and negative effects on
health
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. On one hand, some evidence suggests that social
media
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 platforms are not beneficial to well-being.
For example
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, most
people
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 spend hours, sitting on the sofa and scrolling through Instagram or TikTok with hours or more in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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leisure.
This
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 lack of movement could reduce calories burned each day, which increases the risk of obesity.
Moreover
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, many influencers usually show only positive aspects of their lifestyle.
This
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 can lead some individuals to compare themselves unfavourably, resulting in feelings undervaluing themselves.
On the other hand
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, there are some notions that social
media
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 sites could be beneficial for
health
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. Content creators aim to have a higher view, so they make campaigns or challenges for the audience.
For instance
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, Chloe Ting’s YouTube channel, Physical Activity Channels, promotes her channel by having
people
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 follow her program which is a two-week challenge workout, posting the video on TikTok or Instagram, and using hashtags.
People
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 who get her heart will get
Apple
Correct article usage
an Apple
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 watch.
Consequently
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,
people
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 not only had good
health
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 but
also
Linking Words
 her channel went viral. In conclusion, it is true that there are many negative effects of social
media
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 sites including mental
health
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 and physical
health
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;
however
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, every coin has two sides,
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this
Correct word choice
and this
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 cloud has a benefit too by consuming positive content. From
personal
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a personal
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 perspective, I agree that social
media
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 supports unhealthy lifestyles by disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Therefore
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, the recommendation is to choose
the
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apply
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content that promotes healthy
behaviors
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behaviours
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while
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 being mindful of
potential
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potentially
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 negative influences.

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Grammar
Ensure consistent verb tense throughout your essay to maintain clarity and cohesion.
Development of Ideas
Consider clarifying and expanding on how social media campaigns directly influence lifestyle choices beyond simply going viral, for a deeper exploration of their impact on health.
Vocabulary
Be mindful of using a wider range of vocabulary to effectively articulate your points, avoiding repetition of words and phrases.
Cohesion
In order to enhance cohesion, try to link your ideas more seamlessly between paragraphs by using linking words or phrases that reflect contrast, comparison, or cause and effect.
Balanced Argument
You effectively discussed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.
Clear Conclusion
Your conclusion summarises your viewpoint clearly, aligning well with the content of your essay.
Relevant Examples
Use of relevant examples such as Chloe Ting's YouTube channel effectively illustrates your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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