IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries,fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available Do the disadvantages of this outweight the advantages

#countries #food #outweight
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Almost in every country, fast
food
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 is loved by numerous
people
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 and myriad
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cities include fast
food
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 centres where there are meals that you can eat in a rush which can be
also
Linking Words
 affordable to purchase.
However
Linking Words
, issues based on health make it a more negative development On the one hand, fast
food
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 source of
food
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 that you can buy and enjoy when you are in a hurry,
moreover
Linking Words
, fast
food
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 is well known as an affordable meal that can be reasonable even for
people
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 with low quality of salary.
In addition
Linking Words
, fast
food
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 is a great choice for
people
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 who find it annoying to spend time in the kitchen and who do not have cooking skills,
instead
Linking Words
, they can grab some meals and enjoy them
while
Linking Words
 travelling which does not include
food
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 service.In fact, pros of fast
food
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 as comfort,cost and scrumptious taste make it more convenient for hectic Individuals who do not have time to prepare home-cooked
food
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 Even though there are good sides to it, it is not difficult to notice the bad sides either.It is not a secret that it is fattening
food
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 that leads
people
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 to weight gain which can
also
Linking Words
 produce heart-related issues that require a lot of money to be addressed.Consuming fast
food
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 is not a big trouble,but eating them in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big amounts can bring a risk of a sedentary life and sleeping decreases as insomnia and narcolepsy at the same time In conclusion,including every detail that was given above
this
Linking Words
 essay proves that fast
food
Use synonyms
 is a negative development
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
You have done a remarkable job in structuring your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To further enhance your writing, consider diversifying your sentence structures more to vary the rhythm of your writing and make it even more engaging.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a balanced view, which is excellent. To strengthen your arguments, you might include more specific examples or data to support your claims. This will add depth to your analysis and make your points more convincing.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend your essay, setting up and summarizing your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
You provide a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of logical structure in paragraphs effectively supports and clarifies your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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