Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with other types of help rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that wealthy
nation
should provide more effective and efficient support Fix the agreement mistake
nations
by
not just with money. I strongly disagree with Change preposition
apply
this
argument.
On the one hand, financial aid can help poor countries
to construct many infrastructures, like hospitals, schools, caring centers
and so on, which are basic things to complete if one country wants to boost Change the spelling
centres
it
economy. In order to erect these buildings, the government need to have Change the pronoun
its
stable
cash flow. Take Nigeria Correct article usage
a stable
for example
, because there is
not sufficient educational establishments for the citizens, people have no choice but to be menial labourers, and their nation can't collect taxes to develop, Change the verb form
are
furthermore
, it has become a negative circulation. Therefore
, financial aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
are so
imperative for those poorer Verb problem
is
countries
.
There is a good reason for rich countries
to help developing countries
. We know that the nations in Europe are facing crucial problems about
refugees from Africa. Why Change preposition
with
these
people want to escape from their Add a missing verb
do these
countries
to another
thoroughly unfamiliar ones Correct quantifier usage
other
for
Change preposition
apply
them
, even Correct pronoun usage
apply
it
Correct your spelling
if
is
Correct pronoun usage
there is
high
rate Correct article usage
a high
to lose
their lives? Because their lives are under Change preposition
of losing
threatening
, some are Replace the word
threat
wars
, others are Change preposition
in wars
extreme
poverty, the others are Change preposition
in extreme
food
Change preposition
in food
shortage
. It is reported that almost Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
each
country in Africa has enormous owing bills, and citizens are mad at their governments, Change the determiner
every
as a result
, some officers are try
to shift Change the verb form
are trying
goal posts
through wars, which Correct your spelling
goalposts
make
their folks can't stay in the same place anymore. We can notice that Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
core
problem is money. If poorer Correct article usage
the core
countries
can turn into developed countries
, I think wealthy countries
do not always fight for
the Change preposition
apply
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
whether
they need to accept these refugees.
In conclusion, I personally approve that rich Change preposition
of whether
countries
should assist poorer countries
to improve their economy by offering money, and there are also
some benefits for themselves.Submitted by Joanna
on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider diversifying your lexicon and sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
Task Achievement
For an even stronger essay, incorporate opposing viewpoints and address them. This demonstrates critical thinking and a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Response
You have articulated your position clearly from the beginning and maintained it throughout the essay.
Task Response
Your examples, particularly the one about Nigeria, are relevant and effectively illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical sequence of your paragraphs and the seamless flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next demonstrate strong coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.