Many people think that increasing business and cultural contacts between countries is a positive development. However, others believe that these are leading to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Cultural and business interaction among
nations
Use synonyms
is one of the ways to foster
development
Use synonyms
. There are some who feel
this
Linking Words
is true,
while
Linking Words
critics think
this
Linking Words
could cause the loss of national identities.
This
Linking Words
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
expanciate
Correct your spelling
expatiate
expatriate
on both schools of thought and
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss why I agree it could cause national interactions. The main advantage
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
is that it can foster sharing of resources.
This
Linking Words
is because some
nations
Use synonyms
are more resourceful in certain elements;
hence
Linking Words
, in terms of business and
traditions
Add a comma
traditions,
show examples
both parties involved can help
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it reduces misinformation. Allowing other citizens to participate in cultural events could increase cultural awareness around the globe.
As a result
Linking Words
, people will be able to understand why certain nationals act the way they do.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Israel, guests are allowed to participate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Jewish events,
consequently
Linking Words
, there is a rise in people who know about the certain hairstyles worn by the Levites.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, critics
beileve
Correct your spelling
believe
that
due to
Linking Words
two reasons
thare
Correct your spelling
there
can be
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
of national identities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it can lead to the extinction of traditions.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
the constant
excahnge
Correct your spelling
exchange
of practices when people meet.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past, a lot of Nigerians wore their native attires to work; currently,
this
Linking Words
has been replaced with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
western clothes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
can lead to
exploitation
Correct article usage
the exploitation
show examples
of underdeveloped
nations
Use synonyms
. If proper measures are not taken, richer countries can intimidate others into agreements that would yield no significant profit to the poorer
nations
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I think both sides of the debate have reasonable points. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balance, I believe the interaction of countries in terms of business and culture is good for
development
Use synonyms
as I feel the sharing of resources and increase in global knowledge overrides the potential risk of exploitation and extinction
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
customs.
Submitted by favourade234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on examples to provide more specific instances and evidence for the points made.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between the introduction and main body to make the essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
language use
The language used is largely appropriate, with few inaccuracies affecting meaning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • economic growth
  • living standards
  • cultural understanding
  • homogenization
  • national identities
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • balancing
  • embrace
  • opportunities
  • respecting
What to do next:
Look at other essays: