The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.

The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.
A glance at the two pie charts provided the distributions of revenue
sources
and costs of children’s charities in the United States in 2016.
Overall
, the vast majority of the donated
sources
were food , whilst the least proportion of them were investment income and government grants.
Moreover
, the expenditures of the children’s charities in the USA were mostly
program
services.
According to
the information shown in the pie charts, 95.8% of expenditures were used in
program
services and only 1.6% of them were spent on management and general.
Besides
, fundraising only used 2.6% of the expenditures.When it comes to revenue
sources
, 86.6% of them were food and 10.4% of them were community contributions.What should be particularly mentioned is that 0.4% of the
sources
were other income which was two times as much as investment income and government grants which were both 0.2%.
Although
they spent most of their money on
program
services, the
sources
of
program
revenue were only 2.2%.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, program with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charitable organization
  • non-profit sector
  • financial allocation
  • philanthropy
  • government subsidies
  • individual contributors
  • fundraising activities
  • expenditure breakdown
  • financial transparency
  • budgetary constraints
  • donor base
  • revenue streams
  • fiscal responsibility
  • overheads
  • sustainability
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