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Writing Samples
Band 7

The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.

The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.
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A glance at the two pie charts provided the distributions of revenue
sources
Use synonyms
 and costs of children’s charities in the United States in 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, the vast majority of the donated
sources
Use synonyms
 were food , whilst the least proportion of them were investment income and government grants.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the expenditures of the children’s charities in the USA were mostly
program
Use synonyms
 services.
According to
Linking Words
 the information shown in the pie charts, 95.8% of expenditures were used in
program
Use synonyms
 services and only 1.6% of them were spent on management and general.
Besides
Linking Words
, fundraising only used 2.6% of the expenditures.When it comes to revenue
sources
Use synonyms
, 86.6% of them were food and 10.4% of them were community contributions.What should be particularly mentioned is that 0.4% of the
sources
Use synonyms
 were other income which was two times as much as investment income and government grants which were both 0.2%.
Although
Linking Words
 they spent most of their money on
program
Use synonyms
 services, the
sources
Use synonyms
 of
program
Use synonyms
 revenue were only 2.2%.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, program with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charitable organization
  • non-profit sector
  • financial allocation
  • philanthropy
  • government subsidies
  • individual contributors
  • fundraising activities
  • expenditure breakdown
  • financial transparency
  • budgetary constraints
  • donor base
  • revenue streams
  • fiscal responsibility
  • overheads
  • sustainability
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