Many museum charge for admission while many others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

#museum #charge #admission #people

The chart illustrates the annual salaries (in thousands of US dollars) of

doctors

compared to other

professions

across seven different countries in the year 2004.

Overall

, it is apparent from the chart that

doctors

consistently earned higher wages than those in other

professions

In particular

, the United States topped the list with the highest

overall

salaries. American

doctors

earned an impressive $120,000 annually, which was significantly higher than their Finnish counterparts who received around $70,000.

Moreover

, the pay for other

professions

in the US was reported at $40,000, nearly double that of the same category in Finland, where the average salary was approximately $50,000. In Germany, the Czech Republic, and Italy, the salary figures for

doctors

were quite similar, with each reporting around $60,000 per year.

Conversely

, the pay for other

professions

in these countries was markedly lower, standing uniformly at $20,000.

This

amount was the minimum observed in the dataset and precisely half of that

reported

Add a missing verb

was reported

show examples

in Switzerland.

Submitted by luoyinjian2 on Thu Mar 28 2024

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General

Your essay does an excellent job at explaining the data from the chart, ensuring clarity and precision in presenting facts.

Sentence Variation

Consider varying sentence structures to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged more effectively. Increasing the use of complex and compound sentences can add depth to your analysis.

Analysis

Including a brief discussion on the implications or reasons behind the data could enrich your essay. Providing analysis or speculation about why doctors earn more in some countries compared to others or the impact of these salary differences could offer more depth.

Understanding & Analysis

You have effectively summarized and analyzed the given data, demonstrating a clear understanding of the chart. This is crucial for a high-scoring essay.

Flow & Structure

The logical flow of your essay from the introduction through to the conclusion is commendable. Your coherent presentation assists in conveying your points effectively.

Use of Examples

Detailed and specific examples are used to support your points, making your argument stronger and more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

159 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many museum charge for admission while many others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

A lot of old people are suffering from loneliness these days. They also lack physical fitness. What do you think are the reasons for this problem? Can you think of possible solutions?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?