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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates the process
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
Use synonyms
instant
Correct pronoun usage
which instant
show examples
 noodles are produced.
Overall
Linking Words
, analyzing the given data, it can be seen that there are eight stages to manufacture
instant
Use synonyms
noodle
Use synonyms
 transform from ingredients until the
noodle
Use synonyms
 is packed into cups.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the flour
that is
Linking Words
 delivered by truck moves to large facilities to keep materials in storage silos before being mixed with water and oil into a mixer. After that, the result of the mixer is rolled into dough sheets before proceeding to be sliced into strips. Afterwards, these dough strips are shaped into
noodle
Use synonyms
 discs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, cooking the oil and fried the
noodle
Use synonyms
 discs with it.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, there are two
last
Linking Words
 stages before packing the
instant
Use synonyms
noodle
Use synonyms
. After drying the
noodle
Use synonyms
 disc, put it into the cup and
also
Linking Words
 add vegetables and spices into a cup. The
last
Linking Words
 step is giving the labels to the cup and sealing the
instant
Use synonyms
noodle
Use synonyms
 packaging.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words instant, noodle with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Manufacturing process
  • Noodle dough
  • Steaming
  • Cutting
  • Dough sheeting
  • Molding
  • Air-drying
  • Frying
  • Seasoning
  • Quality control
  • Packaging
  • Shelf life
  • Flavoring agents
  • Texture
  • Instant meal
  • Convenience food
  • Production line
  • Consumer
  • Ingredient mixing
  • Safety standards
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