IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

With recent developments in technology like e-books, some people feel that printed media like books, newspaper and magazines will soon be a thing of the past. Others feel that these forms of media will never disappear. What is your opinion?

#developments #technology #e-books #people #media #books #newspaper #magazines #forms
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the advance of technology is more and more fast
such
Linking Words
 as e-books and
thus
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 traditional means of communication
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 books,
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and magazines will no longer exist
while
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 others suppose these means of communication will survive forever. In my opinion, printed
media
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 still
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a fundamental role in
people
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’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. I will discuss both of these views before giving my opinion in
this
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 essay below. On the one hand, when technology develops,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to use high-tech
equiqments
Correct your spelling
equipment
such
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 as
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
, laptop or mobile phone and usually do not read printed
media
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 like books,
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and magazines because high-tech
equiqments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 like e-books may bring easily and update information extremely quickly.
For example
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, when
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 event is taking place
such
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 as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 extreme traffic accident, immediately online news will
give
Wrong verb form
be given
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to residents.
By contrast
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, traditional printed
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 just can
report
Rephrase
only report
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next day.
In addition
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, it is convenient for
student
Add an article
the student
show examples
 to study because they can study
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 and everywhere with their laptop.
On the other hand
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, traditional means of communication
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 books,
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and magazines still have
a positive impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive impact
positive impacts
show examples
 on
citizen
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citizens
show examples
 because some
people
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 especially older
people
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 can not use high-tech equiqments and they feel difficult to interact with them.
Moreover
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, it is comfortable for older
people
Use synonyms
 to read printer
media
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 because their eyes are tired less.
Besides
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, reading printed
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and drinking coffee in the morning are daily habits in their life. In conclusion, both of these
media
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 are useful and bring positive values
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. They will always survive and develop together.
Submitted by weezel on

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Introduction Enhancement
Your introduction provides a clear overview of your essay, but try to include a more explicit statement of your opinion for greater impact.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability and interest. Using a mix of complex and compound sentences can make your argument more compelling.
Example Variety
When providing examples, aim to include a mix of personal anecdotes and broader statistical or factual evidence. This diversity makes for a stronger argument.
Grammar & Spelling Correction
Watch out for minor grammatical mistakes and typos that can distract from your message. Regular proofreading can help identify and correct these slips.
Enhancing Transitions
While your essay effectively uses linking words and phrases, consider introducing a few more transitional phrases to guide the reader more smoothly from one point to the next.
Balanced Viewpoint
Comprehensive discussion of both perspectives before presenting your own opinion is a strong strategy.
Effective Examples
You effectively use specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more convincing.
Strong Conclusion
The concluding paragraph nicely sums up your arguments, reaffirming your stance on the issue.
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