IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?e?

#animals #place #st #century #waste #resources #e
It is true that wild
animals
 are impossible to see nowadays, especially in cities. Some people think that there is no particular place left for wild creatures. So, it is just a
wastage
Replace the word
waste
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 of our bountiful resources, to provide them protection in
this
 century. I completely disagree with
this
 statement and
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that these
animals
 should be protected and
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 individuals should
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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respect their habitats , no matter what. First of all, wild creatures are crucial elements of our
food
 chain. They provide us
balance
Change preposition
with balance
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between
Change preposition
in
show examples
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 cycle. Even, they live on top of
pyramid
Add an article
the pyramid
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 because in nature, these all wild species are connected with each other and
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of any one of them can create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chaos in
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
food
 supply chain.
For instance
, nature works in a cycle and shortage or extinction of any wild
animals
 could lead to
maximization
Correct article usage
the maximization
show examples
 of other species, which can be
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
 scarcity.
Secondly
, these are more beneficial to secure our future in
this
 Scientific era as they can be used for medical aims.
The wild
Correct article usage
Wild
show examples
animals
 may have the genetics of their ancestors and these could be advantageous for Scientists to carry their previous
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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continue
Verb problem
apply
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, which has been done for medical purposes, to
examplify
Correct your spelling
examine
.
Therefore
,
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 of these
animals
 will be helpful to make our forthcoming life better in drug fields.
To conclude
, I would like to say that
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 supply chain can be balanced only if, these wild creatures are saved by
humin
Correct your spelling
human
show examples
 beings and these are not only
aidful
Correct word choice
helpful
show examples
 for our
food
 system but
also
 will be beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Medical Science in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 times.
Submitted by jaspreetkaur45047 on

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Supporting Examples
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Conclusion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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