IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People
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 have different views about learning a second
language
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, some see that it is the primary reason for living and studying abroad,
while
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 others believe that there are many factors for
this
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. In my opinion, the main goal of learning a foreign
language
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 is indeed to travel and work overseas. I strongly believe that the main factor for learning another
language
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 is to discover new countries and to find jobs. Many
people
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 love to travel to different nations and they find it easy to learn the
language
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 of the country they visit. Visitors can easily interact with local citizens and enjoy their time without having
language
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 barriers.
Moreover
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,
people
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also
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 learn a new
language
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 to increase their chances of finding work with a good salary. It is proven that employees who master more than one
language
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 have a better chance of finding a job than others who don't.
However
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, there are many reasons for learning a new
language
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. Students usually seek to learn different languages to study abroad and it is sometimes mandatory to learn the
language
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 to get accepted at university or college. Another reason, couples who marry from different backgrounds learn foreign languages to cope with their partners.
For example
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, some young
people
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 who marry from East European countries learn the local
language
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 so they can proceed with the marriage arrangements. In conclusion, despite the many reasons for learning a new
language
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such
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 as studying abroad and married, I believe that the main reason for speaking another
language
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 is to travel and work abroad

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task achievement
The essay presents both views and a clear opinion, but elaborating more on each side would strengthen the argument. Also, ensure the essay consistently addresses 'other reasons' with more depth and examples.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, transition phrases and linking words can be more varied. Additionally, the paragraph on 'other reasons' could be split for better structure, with one paragraph focusing on education and another on personal relationships.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, briefly mention the points discussed in the body paragraphs before restating your opinion. This would make the conclusion more comprehensive and reflective of the essay’s content.
general
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the discussion effectively.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported with examples, such as the mention of studying abroad and marrying into a different culture.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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