Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

It is undeniable that reading a book is highly beneficial for a child as it helps them accumulate various knowledge.
However
, some people argue that doing outdoor adventures with their offspring is more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
when it comes to cultivating children’s
life
wisdom and imagination. I agree with
this
statement as I think that active learning leads to numerous
experiences
while
passive reading lacks them.
To begin
with, the more the youngsters are engaged in entertainment, the more they gain
life
experiences
.
Thus
, it is constructive in addressing real-
life
issues. To be specific, they face numerous situations during the venture, and by solving problems or experiencing them, they can accumulate
life
skills.
For example
, young individuals can learn how to cook during cooking on their own.
Moreover
, they can learn table manners: how to use a knife, how to eat food without making loud noises, and how to be gentle during meals in front of the elderly.
Furthermore
, many outdoor ventures lead to expanded creativity as a myriad of
experiences
is a crucial key to brilliant thoughts. The more the minors experience, the more memories they accumulate, which stimulate their creativity.
For instance
, when a child goes on a picnic to a beach, they can see the vivid colour of the beach, sand, and other
landscape
Fix the agreement mistake
landscapes
show examples
.
In addition
, they are able to look at what the wave sounds like. These kinds of active
experiences
are hard to be taught through books.
To sum up
, it is often believed that going on a trip or an excursion is considerable to develop youngster's abilities and creativity. I agree with
this
opinion as I think that doing leisurely things brings an expanded perspective which broadens young individual's imagination and
life
abilities.
Submitted by aahhyu111 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to develop a more nuanced argument by acknowledging the advantages of reading while still presenting your view strongly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Integrate a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance the fluency of your argument.
Task Achievement
Consider incorporating a counter-paragraph that discusses the benefits of reading to provide a balanced view, and then refute it or argue why outdoor activities are preferable.
Task Achievement
You've used specific examples effectively to support your arguments, such as the scenario of a child learning to cook and experiencing a beach, which makes your essay more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend your argument, providing a strong structure to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical flow of ideas from paragraph to paragraph helps the reader to understand and follow your argument effortlessly.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!