Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

It is undeniable that reading a book is highly beneficial for a child as it helps them accumulate various knowledge.
However
, some people argue that doing outdoor adventures with their offspring is more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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when it comes to cultivating children’s
life
wisdom and imagination. I agree with
this
statement as I think that active learning leads to numerous
experiences
while
passive reading lacks them.
To begin
with, the more the youngsters are engaged in entertainment, the more they gain
life
experiences
.
Thus
, it is constructive in addressing real-
life
issues. To be specific, they face numerous situations during the venture, and by solving problems or experiencing them, they can accumulate
life
skills.
For example
, young individuals can learn how to cook during cooking on their own.
Moreover
, they can learn table manners: how to use a knife, how to eat food without making loud noises, and how to be gentle during meals in front of the elderly.
Furthermore
, many outdoor ventures lead to expanded creativity as a myriad of
experiences
is a crucial key to brilliant thoughts. The more the minors experience, the more memories they accumulate, which stimulate their creativity.
For instance
, when a child goes on a picnic to a beach, they can see the vivid colour of the beach, sand, and other
landscape
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landscapes
show examples
.
In addition
, they are able to look at what the wave sounds like. These kinds of active
experiences
are hard to be taught through books.
To sum up
, it is often believed that going on a trip or an excursion is considerable to develop youngster's abilities and creativity. I agree with
this
opinion as I think that doing leisurely things brings an expanded perspective which broadens young individual's imagination and
life
abilities.
Submitted by aahhyu111 on

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Task Achievement
Try to develop a more nuanced argument by acknowledging the advantages of reading while still presenting your view strongly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Integrate a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance the fluency of your argument.
Task Achievement
Consider incorporating a counter-paragraph that discusses the benefits of reading to provide a balanced view, and then refute it or argue why outdoor activities are preferable.
Task Achievement
You've used specific examples effectively to support your arguments, such as the scenario of a child learning to cook and experiencing a beach, which makes your essay more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend your argument, providing a strong structure to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical flow of ideas from paragraph to paragraph helps the reader to understand and follow your argument effortlessly.
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