Some people assert that it is good for college students to have part-jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The efficiency of having a part-time
job
as a
student
is an arguable topic. I find that it has a bright side more than the dark side when a college
student
has a part-time
job
. In
this
essay, we will focus on how part-time jobs can variously help
students
.
First,
students
can experience
society
in advance and get a financial benefit
moreover
. Not having much responsibility and pressure as a full-time
job
, they can experience a smaller and easier version of the real
society
.
Also
, getting a reward for
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
gives feelings of achievement to individuals, which helps build concrete autonomy.
Second,
by managing their own profits, they could grow a sense of economy. Planning incomes and outcomes could make consumption more organized, and help to build great habits. By saving money,
students
could plan their future. Investing could encourage interest in the economy.
In Addition
, more incomes could lead to more productivity. In a capitalist
society
, profits mean more opportunity, which has a significant importance in the early 20s.
Students
could invest in themselves, which affects the distinct difference in the
job
market. Some people could say studying has more priority than experiencing
society
,
however
, I find that a great idea could be discovered by combining both academic knowledge and practical experience.
To sum up
, it is evident that getting a part-time
job
as a college
student
has plenty of benefits. Even though some difficulties could happen
while
fulfilling both duties as a
student
, the benefits of experiencing
society
are undeniable.
Submitted by forbid403 on

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Specific Examples
It's beneficial to integrate clearer and more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While your essay provides good general support for your views, deeper, real-life examples can enhance your argument's persuasiveness.
Complex Sentences and Linking
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of linking words to improve the natural flow of ideas. This will not only enhance readability but also demonstrate your language proficiency.
Balanced Views
Although your essay touches upon several key benefits of part-time work for students, expanding on each point with further detail and incorporating counterarguments before refuting them can strengthen your position.
Clear Stance
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction that explicitly states your extent of agreement or disagreement. This provides a clear direction for your subsequent arguments.
Topic Engagement
Your essay effectively outlines the benefits of part-time work for students, providing a clear stance on the topic.
Logical Structure
The logical flow and structure of your essay, along with the presence of an introduction and conclusion, make your argument easy to follow.
Relevant Examples
The use of real-life impacts, such as financial independence and a sense of economy, effectively supports your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time management
  • Professional skills
  • Financial independence
  • Network expansion
  • Real-world application
  • Academic commitments
  • Organizational skills
  • Communication
  • Teamwork
  • Problem-solving
  • Professional network
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Stress levels
  • Reducing the financial burden
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