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Band 6

Influence of human beings on the world 's ecosystem is leaving to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are primary causes of loss of biodiversity ? What solutions can you suggest ?

#influence #beings #world #ecosystem #extinction #species #loss #biodiversity
The modern economy is changing the world around us in a drastic manner.
This
 has influenced the environment in a way
that is
 leading to the loss of wildlife. The following passages will discuss the causes and the possible solutions for
this
 problem.
To begin
 with, there are two noticeable reasons for species extinction namely pollution and the loss of habitat.
Firstly
, industrial development has exponentially increased various types of pollution that have damaged the natural flow of the ecosystem.
For example
. chemical plants release many hazardous chemicals into the rivers without appropriate treatment putting aquatic life at risk.
Secondly
.
people
 consume unnecessarily more land for housing, agriculture, and infrastructure resulting in a reduction of the area for flora and fauna. To cope with
this
, some possible solutions are protecting natural regions and promoting awareness among
people
 about the significance of other lives on Earth. First of all. the government can alter the laws and establish natural parks to separate human and animal life.
Furthermore
, the dissemination of information regarding the importance of the environmental system will encourage the commoners to ponder the issue.
Consequently
,
this
 will put authorities on their feet to take action. To cite an instance, in Britain, an anti-coal protest resulted in the country's move to utilise wind
instead
 of coal for energy production. In essence,
people
's small activities negatively affect the environment and disrupt the world's ecosystem.
However
, the loss of biodiversity can be remarkably lessened by protecting the natural zones and enlightening
people
 on the problem.
Submitted by 063pinderkaursandhu1997 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the primary causes of loss of biodiversity and suggests solutions, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit and impactful. The ideas are supported with examples and details, and the logical structure is mostly clear but could be improved with better transitions and organizational cues.
task achievement
The response to the task is complete, and the ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. Relevant examples are provided to support the points made. However, the response could benefit from a more impactful introduction and conclusion to fully address the task requirement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ecosystem
  • extinction
  • biodiversity
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • contamination
  • overexploitation
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • non-native
  • safeguard
  • eco-friendly
  • sustainable
  • legislation
  • rehabilitation
  • endangered species
  • conservation
  • environmental impact
  • sustainability
  • biodiversity loss
  • ecological balance
  • sanctuary
  • environmental degradation
  • policy implementation
  • wildlife protection
  • ecotourism
  • biodiversity conservation
  • ecological footprint
  • sustainable development
  • pollinator decline
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