Obesity in children is a serious problem in a number of countries. What are the causes of obesity in children? Discuss the possible alarming effects of this problem in the future.

#obesity #children #countries #effects #future

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Nowadays, in some countries, obesity in childhood has become more and more often, bringing several problems in their present and adult lives.

This

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essay will discuss the main causes of

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and some consequences for the future of these

children

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. Undoubtedly, bad food habits and a sedentary lifestyle are the main reasons for

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issue.

Firstly

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, the consumption of fast-food meals by

kids

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has increased in the

last

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twenty years

due to

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low prices and massive investments in advertisements.

For example

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, fast-food chains like McDonald's and Burger King apply billions of dollars each year towards

kids

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and teenagers.

As a result

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children

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are eating more unhealthy food which leads to an increase in their weight

overall

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Additionally

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, the current using of electronic devices and technologies,

such

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as smartphones, video games, and tablets has caused young people to do less exercise and sports than in the past.

As a consequence

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, obesity has become a serious problem for these

children

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For instance

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, some

kids

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can struggle with bullying at school because of their body shape and difficulty in doing sports.

Besides

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, they can develop some diseases, mainly related to heart and blood pressure. The solutions are hard to implement owing to the fact that there is a huge industry behind, which expects to earn hundreds of thousands of dollars in profits from

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public. Governments should regulate

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commerce, banning advertising for

kids

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and making public campaigns to encourage parents and

kids

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to eat more healthy meals. Another measure can be taken at schools,

for example

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, by stimulating

children

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to do more sports and physical activities

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apply

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and forbidding cell phones in the classroom.

To conclude

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, obesity in young people is an urgent question in the current days. The consequences are many as mentioned before, especially for the body and mental health of

kids

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, not only today

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apply

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but in their future lives. To solve

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problem, parents, schools, and governments should work together and face the private interests of big enterprises.

Submitted by fmulato on Sat Mar 30 2024

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Structure

Your essay has an excellent structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Keep enhancing this by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs for even better coherence.

Cohesion

Incorporating a wider range of linking words can improve the cohesion of your essays. This helps in clearly connecting your ideas and arguments, making your writing flow more naturally.

Task Achievement

Your task achievement is commendable as you responded to all parts of the prompt with clear ideas and relevant examples. To further strengthen your essay, consider adding more nuanced examples or data to support your arguments.

Language Use

To elevate your writing, incorporate more varied sentence structures and precise vocabulary. This not only engages the reader but also demonstrates your linguistic competency.

Examples

Effective use of examples to illustrate points made within the essay.

Content

Clear identification and discussion of the topic, causes, and effects related to childhood obesity.

Problem-Solving

Good attempt at providing solutions to the problem discussed, showing an understanding of the issue's complexity.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Obesity in children is a serious problem in a number of countries. What are the causes of obesity in children? Discuss the possible alarming effects of this problem in the future.

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

If a product is good and meets customer needs,then people will buy it. So advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You’re visiting a town where you once worked. Write to a friend you worked with there. Include the following in your letter: Tell your friend about your life now Give him/her details of your visit Arrange how you can meet.

Some people prefer to live in hot climate; however, others prefer to live in cold regions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?