The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The given line graph illustrates how many shopping centres are not working anymore and how many of them are still open to the public in a specific area in the period of time from the
year
2011 until 2018.
Overall
, it is noticeable that the data had a plateau and did not remain the same, as most of the
shops
were open in 2011,
however
, by the end of 2018, they were mostly closed.
To begin
with, almost 9000
shops
were open and provided service for customers,
however
,
this
number significantly dropped and reached 4000 in the next
year
.
Nonetheless
, it rose by 2000, as 6000
shops
were open until 2014.
Then
, the number went back to its previous data with only 4000 to be opened until 2017 and
finally
stopped by the number of 3000 in the
last
year
. Closures,
on the other hand
, were for 6500
shops
but increased and reached 7000 after two years
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
. The data,
although
, has experienced a dramatically downward trend, as less than 1000 places were closed by the
year
2015.
However
, in 2018, 5000 of all were eventually closed.
Submitted by vaniaa.z.h2005 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, shops with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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