Some people say that history has little or nothing to offer, while others say that study the past helps the present. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #history #offer #study

Nowadays, technology plays a crucial role in human life.

This

is the reason why many individuals think that studying

history

is not necessary.

While others

Correct word choice

Others

show examples

disagree with the idea and say that learning about the past is significant to the present. In the following paragraph, both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, the major reason that folks believe that it is not essential to study

history

is that

history

can be outdated and it could have been altered over time. To illustrate, the books about World War 2 published by the government of the United States of America tell the story from different perspectives compared to the ones generated by the German government.

Furthermore

, those people think that

history

can not be fixed.

Therefore

, it is better to learn about the present events in the world.

On the other hand

, one of the obvious reasons that studying the past has the potential to help the present is that innovations and breakthroughs nowadays are developed from the past.

In other words

, in the medical industry, the records and outcomes of experiments conducted by former scientists play a vital role in assisting scientists in

this

era to create new medicines and medical treatments. On top of that, learning about the past makes people understand the origins of their cultures.

For example

, I am from Thailand and one of the most renowned customs of Thailand is Songkran. I would not be proud to celebrate

this

tradition and introduce it to my foreign friends if I did not comprehend its roots. To summarize,

although

there are numerous reasons why some people say that studying

history

is not useful, I strongly believe that it is truly vital to help the present for many reasons.

Submitted by yanaphonthi on Sun Mar 31 2024

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Language Use

To improve your score further, try diversifying your sentence structures more to add variety and complexity to your writing.

Task Response

When discussing contrasting viewpoints, make sure to express why one perspective may be more valid than the other, especially when you state your own opinion. This will strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This will improve coherence and cohesion significantly.

Structure

Your essay provides a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss each view, and a concise conclusion. This is excellent for logical organization.

Supporting Examples

You effectively used examples to support your points, such as the different perspectives on World War 2 and the cultural significance of Songkran in Thailand. This enriches your argument and provides clarity.

Task Response

By directly addressing the task prompt and providing a clear stance in your conclusion, you have met the task requirements effectively. This aspect of your essay was handled well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that history has little or nothing to offer, while others say that study the past helps the present. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries nowadays, people in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units rather than larger, extended family groups. Is it a positive or negative trend?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today ‘s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Give me band prediction and feedback for this IELTS Writing Task 2. Please analyse based on the IELTS public band descriptions and also the substance.