IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people claim that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, the technology of
space
Use synonyms
 has been developed successfully. Amazingly, an incredible achievement ,
that is
Linking Words
,
space
Use synonyms
 travel is accessible nowadays. A part of individuals claim that the dream of
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 will come true in the future. Some
people
Use synonyms
 agree that
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, others may not be on the same wavelength. From my perspective,
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 is a positive development. Through
space
Use synonyms
 journey,
people
Use synonyms
 can not only explore deeper of universe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 broaden
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 horizons of
this
Linking Words
 world. To illustrate, professors and researchers may take the
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 to travel the universe by spaceships, and through their journey, they can indulge in
space
Use synonyms
 which is different from learning hypotheses from documents.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, they may discover new things which human beings never expect.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
 around the world.
However
Linking Words
, those who hold different opinions might contend that the advancement of
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 is inferior for individuals. One argument is that
people
Use synonyms
 with
space
Use synonyms
 excursion experience would show off the high prices to others, and
then
Linking Words
 hurt their self-esteem.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who take a
space
Use synonyms
 trip may post on Instagram, and show off deliberately how expensive the excursions are. These behaviours would not only reduce individuals’ self-esteem but
also
Linking Words
 eliminate their confidence
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their salaries because of
no
Change the word
their
show examples
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
 to afford the tickets.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, not all
people
Use synonyms
 are materialistic, those who can not afford the
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 fees would admire others’ experiences
instead
Linking Words
 of feeling envious. In conclusion, I would maintain that
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 is a positive development because it is beneficial for human beings.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 might not see eye to eye with me on
this
Linking Words
 matter, and they might argue that the high prices would crack poor
people
Use synonyms
’s confidence
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their capabilities to earn money.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and supports it with relevant arguments. However, introducing more specific examples could further strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to address potential counterarguments more thoroughly to demonstrate a balanced consideration of different viewpoints.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction concisely covers the topic and presents a clear stance, which sets the stage effectively for your arguments.
logical structure
The arguments presented are logical and easy to follow, demonstrating a good flow of ideas throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancement in technology
  • Scientific knowledge
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Inequality
  • Regulation
  • Sustainable practices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: