nternational tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions on this?

There is no doubt that these days worldwide
tourism
witnessed a huge popularity. The question is, is it worth
this
? In
this
essay, I am going to discuss my view about whether
tourism
's beneficial effects have a big influence or not, and I will draw my conclusion. In terms of advantages, it is not disputable that the
tourism
sector has revolutionized the world of industry. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that the latest research showed that global
tourism
outcomes rocketed to the highest value and are considered to be one of the biggest portions that affect the nation's economy. To illustrate, in Turkey, the government pays significant attention and effort to develop the services and natural areas to encourage
tourism
.
In other words
, different countries greatly rely on the benefits of
tourism
to their economy.
Moreover
, it is not deniable that international
tourism
has been a crucial method to relate
people
.
This
is because the visitors will be able to know a lot about the country they are visiting.
This
usually increases and strengthens the relationships. I got to know more about Egypt when I visited it
last
year.
However
, from another point of view,
people
might think it is a negative trend because - as for the COVID-19 period- various types of diseases might spread
due to
frequent transportation from one country to another. Some
people
think that because of social media and new technologies, there is no need to be tired of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
and leaving your rest area.
Also
, some
people
think it brings more privacy and loyalty to not share your places with others. By way of conclusion,
although
one side thinks it is a negative trend
due to
lack of privacy and illness spreading, others strongly encourage international
tourism
because of its benefits.
Therefore
, I believe that governments should keep moderate and develop
this
type of industry.
Submitted by s116656m on

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coherence cohesion
Try to provide a broader range of complex sentence structures to enhance your writing coherence and diversity.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary to precisely express your viewpoints and to make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
Ensure you provide specific examples to back up your arguments. While the examples given were good, adding more could bolster your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Good job on maintaining a clear structure throughout your essay, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulated your viewpoint and provided a succinct summary of your position.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as the case of Turkey, helps in supporting your main points convincingly.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • cultural exchange
  • economic impact
  • hospitality sector
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • local economy
  • global understanding
  • seasonal fluctuations
  • tourist influx
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