Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?
In recent years, advancements in technology have changed how
people
connect with each other. This
has turned people
into making much more friends but has also
reduced the depth of those relationships
. In my opinion, this
is a harmful change due to
the fact that it makes humans less able to communicate their personal feelings.
Technology’s influence has enabled people
to make many more friends than they possibly could in the past. This
is largely owing to social media, which revolutionizes communication and helps people
to keep in touch with each other regardless of their geographical locations. Another change in human relationships
caused by modern technology is that the number of intimate relationships
made has been substantially less significant. With so many people
to care about, social media deters users from strengthening bonds. For instance
, a stark difference can be observed in Vietnam, where most young adults 20 years ago – when the internet was underdeveloped, had much deeper connections than their modern counterparts.
The changes made to the types of relationships
people
make nowadays are largely disadvantageous, for it deters people
from having deep connections. Lacking valuable bonds means that they have almost no one to confide in during depressive episodes that are inevitable for most humans, and thereby increase the possibility of making unwise decisions. Examples of this
can be found all over the world, where the cases of depression that cause suicidal behaviours are becoming more and more common, and one of the primary contributing factors is victims having no one to share their burdens with.
In conclusion, despite having much more ability to connect, people
are making less meaningful relationships
; thus
, the quality of relationships
diminishes and harms their well-being.Submitted by blastion05 on
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Your essay clearly presents your view and supports it with specific examples, showing a solid understanding of the topic. To refine your work further, consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance readability and avoid repetition.
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Introduce a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed examples and explanations to further strengthen your main points. While general examples are provided, delving into specifics can bolster your argument.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend your discussion, clearly stating your position and summarizing the main points of your argument.
content
You've successfully used relevant examples to support your main points, aiding in demonstrating the impact of technology on relationships.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.