Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that these days immigration become increasingly favourable. The question is, is it really important to migrate and what are the costs? In
this
essay, I am going to discuss the new trend of people
being transformed totally into another country as well as
the advantages and disadvantages. Moreover
, I will draw my own conclusion regarding this
subject.
In order of advantages, the latest research showed that the people
of developing countries that are integrated in
modern nations have experienced easier lifestyle situations. The main reason given to support Change the preposition
into
with
this
claim is that once the people
are involved in the biggest countries, the services presented will be greatly facilitated. In other words
, people
will avoid time and effort which is more likely to be consumed in their own countries. Therefore
, they prefer to leave their places wishing for an easier life.
However
, this
way of travelling witnessed numerous drawbacks. Firstly
, transformed people
will be always considered as
non-loyal individuals as they leave their original homeland. Change preposition
apply
In other words
, despite the comfort of life, they will always experience homesickness due to
the distance from their loved ones and their neighbourhood. Secondly
, it is difficult to integrate into a new culture and change your original behaviour and language. For example
, people
immigrating into
China will take a long time to understand the lifestyle and sometimes it might be impossible and risky.
By way of conclusion, Change preposition
to
although
there are several beneficial aspects regarding immigration, it is not easy to leave your homeland and there are several problems you will be facing if you decide to take such
a huge step. Therefore
, governments must increase the awareness of both sides of their people
and ease the services to save their population.Submitted by s116656m on
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Task Response
Make sure to directly address the prompt in both the introduction and the conclusion. It is important for clarity and coherence to state whether you agree or disagree with the statement and provide clear reasons why.
Task Response
Support your points with specific examples. While you've mentioned research and potential difficulties of integration, providing more detailed examples or evidence would enhance the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on more varied and sophisticated sentence structures to improve the flow of ideas. This will also enhance the reader's engagement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear paragraphs to separate different ideas and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This helps in organizing the essay and makes it easier for the reader to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have done a good job in introducing the topic and providing a conclusion that sums up your standpoint, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.
Task Response
You've shown an ability to engage with complex ideas and explore both sides of the argument, which enriches your essay.
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