Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that these days immigration become increasingly favourable. The question is, is it really important to migrate and what are the costs? In
this
Linking Words
essay, I am going to discuss the new trend of
people
Use synonyms
being transformed totally into another country
as well as
Linking Words
the advantages and disadvantages.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I will draw my own conclusion regarding
this
Linking Words
subject. In order of advantages, the latest research showed that the
people
Use synonyms
of developing countries that are integrated
in
Change the preposition
into
with
show examples
modern nations have experienced easier lifestyle situations. The main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
claim is that once the
people
Use synonyms
are involved in the biggest countries, the services presented will be greatly facilitated.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
will avoid time and effort which is more likely to be consumed in their own countries.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they prefer to leave their places wishing for an easier life.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
way of travelling witnessed numerous drawbacks.
Firstly
Linking Words
, transformed
people
Use synonyms
will be always considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
non-loyal individuals as they leave their original homeland.
In other words
Linking Words
, despite the comfort of life, they will always experience homesickness
due to
Linking Words
the distance from their loved ones and their neighbourhood.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is difficult to integrate into a new culture and change your original behaviour and language.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
immigrating
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
China will take a long time to understand the lifestyle and sometimes it might be impossible and risky. By way of conclusion,
although
Linking Words
there are several beneficial aspects regarding immigration, it is not easy to leave your homeland and there are several problems you will be facing if you decide to take
such
Linking Words
a huge step.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments must increase the awareness of both sides of their
people
Use synonyms
and ease the services to save their population.
Submitted by s116656m on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Make sure to directly address the prompt in both the introduction and the conclusion. It is important for clarity and coherence to state whether you agree or disagree with the statement and provide clear reasons why.
Task Response
Support your points with specific examples. While you've mentioned research and potential difficulties of integration, providing more detailed examples or evidence would enhance the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on more varied and sophisticated sentence structures to improve the flow of ideas. This will also enhance the reader's engagement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear paragraphs to separate different ideas and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This helps in organizing the essay and makes it easier for the reader to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have done a good job in introducing the topic and providing a conclusion that sums up your standpoint, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.
Task Response
You've shown an ability to engage with complex ideas and explore both sides of the argument, which enriches your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • integration
  • social cohesion
  • cultural clashes
  • original culture
  • diversity
  • identity loss
  • psychological distress
  • balanced approach
  • local customs
  • cultural identities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: