Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the digital era, one school of thought holds that the prevalent appearance of smartphones and computers is to blame for the lower ability to communicate face-to-face.
While
I accept that perception is somewhat justified, I believe that there are other important factors that might logically contribute to opposition.
On the one hand, it is understandable why modern devices could harm communication skills. First and foremost, it could decrease the frequency of conversation. For instance
, many students who are addicted to video games prefer to play alone at home rather than hang out with their friends in person, which reduces their social time as well as
makes them less talkative and more introverted in daily life. Furthermore
, electronic gadgets might lead their users to become more isolated. For example
, numerous IT firms encourage their employees to work from home to cut operational costs. Thus
, these workers might face mental health issues such
as loneliness and depression due to
the lack of physical conversations and eye-to-eye contact.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that cell phones and laptops could be advantageous to certain extents. One rationale is that it could strengthen individuals' ties. This
is because online applications provide accessible and convenient methods to keep in touch and confide in members of a family, especially citizens who study or work in foreign countries despite the long distance. Another justification is that electronic gadgets could improve the production of employees. To be more specific, with intelligent devices, staff who work for global corporations could quickly exchange information with others in other branches via online platforms such
as Zoom, Google Meeting, or Discord, which could enhance their workflows and efficiency.
In conclusion, it is irrefutable that smartphones and computers have some heavy demerits, I would contend that these applications also
have several profound merits that the public should take into consideration.Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on
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coherence cohesion
Be mindful of slightly repetitive sentences and strive for more variety in your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
Consider integrating more complex and varied language to further improve the sophistication of your argument. This could include a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the usage of mobile phones and computers, demonstrating an excellent understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay excels in maintaining a clear and logical structure, which makes your argument easy to follow for the reader. The introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the main points.